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You’re asking me about Cockney accent? Did you know a “Cockney” used to be a pejorative term for the working class Yeah. Nonsense! It is the accent of the true Londoner Who’s a true Londoner? If you’re thinking of that guy in Mary Poppins Nonsense, that is an American impostor, He is not British. He is not a real Londoner!

Now, if you’re thinking of Michael Caine. He is a true Londoner! He’s a Cockney, and he’s a legend, but how do you speak like a Cockney you ask?

Well my son there are a few rules you have to follow if you want to sound like a true Londoner. First one is that “Schwa” sound my good friend Aly taught ya! that’s the “UH” sound.

With a Cockney accent, it is more pronounced. Regular person might say “Doctor” But a Cockney says it “DoctAAAHH” Same as in Stronger” “Faster” “Harder” “StrongAAHH!” “FastAAHH!” “HARDAHH!”

That brings us to our next point, Hs? Don’t need em! Get rid of em! Any word that begins with an H sound, Get rid of that H! Don’t need you, H! Never have! You’re useless! Words like: “Who” “Have” “House” we don’t use the Hs! Get rid of them! OOH! AV! OUSE!

For example: Who are you? Doctor who? That’s his house. How much for him? That dogy in the winter.

Remember my good friend Aly’s lessons? You learned that “L”sounds can sometimes sound like a “W”.

“L” to “ew” For example in these words: “Hell” should be pronounced in the Cockney accent like “Hew”. “ill” “iew”. “Pill” should become “pew” and “phil” “Phew”.

Another thing, my good friend Aly made you a video about the “Glottal T”. This is the T sound which is replaced by the sound in the middle of ‘Uh-Oh’ The “Uh—” sound.

Words like: “Water” should sound like: “Wa’er”The T stops in the throat “Wa’er”. So none of this: “Bottle of water please” Nah! Should be: “Bo’le of wa’er”.

Remember to use the Glottal T the L that sounds like a W, and that big ‘schwa’ sound. “Bo’le of wa’er”.

Other words could include: “Lighter”. “Can I have a lighter?” “I hate you.” “My head! It hurts!”

Don’t know how much more I should tell you mate. Can tell you this, though. There are two types of ‘TH’ sounds in English. The ‘voiced’ which sounds like a: /ð/. They have a vibration in the throat.

For example in words like: “Brother” “Bother” “Mother” “Father” “Clothes” “Leather” Those ‘TH’ sounds will be replaced by a V sound.

For example: “Brother” “Brovah” “Bother” “Bovah” “Mother” “Muvah” “Father” “Favah” “Clothes” “Cloves” “Leather” “Levah”.

The other ‘TH’ sound is unvoiced, and that sounds like: /f/. Like in: “Thank you” “Everything” “Nothing” “Thursday” “Sympathetic” and they should be replaced by Fs.

So “Thank you” “Fank you” “Thursday” “Fursday” “Nothing” “Noffing”“Everything” “Everyfing” “Sympathetic” “Sympafetic” and in some words like: “The” “Them” “That” we just don’t say the TH sounds all the time. Just because.

Next thing to remember sounds come from around the sides of the mouth. So for example: /ow/ should be more of an: /æ/. Around the sides of the mouth “Bloody Cow”.

‘OR’ sounds become like: /o/. For example: “Talk” Should become like: “Tok” “Walk” “Wok” “Pork” should become “Pok.”

Words which have the ‘AI’ sound We don’t say them like ‘AI’ We say them like: /oe/ For example: “Alright” sounds like “oe” “Pie” “poe” “Thigh” ““Figh” “Like” “Like” “Tight” “Tigh” Also us cockneys, we prefer to say “me” instead of “my”

For example “My throat hurts” Probably wouldn’t say that probably say “Me throat hurts”. Notice again “my” becomes “me” “Ths” become “F” sounds “Froat” “Ts” be replaced by glottal Ts.

And we don’t use Hs because who needs them. Also a Cockney’s quite partial to double negatives and using the third person in reverse.

For example you want some money? I ain’t got none, I ain’t got none, mate. and third persons, we usually use them in reverse. For example “You wasn’t even there” “I weren’t even talking to you” Keep it under your hat, yeah?

But we have our words for things For example “My missus”. “It’s my girlfriend/ wife” To say someone’s attractive would say “They’re fit”.

Your missus is fit”. To say the opposite, to say someone’s ugly: They are ‘A minger’ “You are a minger”. “That girl’s a minger”.

“Dosh/ Dough” You wanna talk about money. You’re talking about your dough, your dosh, mate! “I ain’t got no dosh” “I ain’t no dough”.

“Up the duff” means “pregnant”, So “your missus up the duff, mate”.

Us cockneys like to check for understanding in a conversation by asking this question: Do you what I mean? Or know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Know I mean?

You want a test, bruv? see how Cockney you are? Look at these sentences How would you, as a Cockney, say these?

Maths? Can’t be bothered, mate?

My brother’s coming down for a cuppa?

No, everything’s fine.

I ain’t got nothing on me.

Think that’s all I can tell you for now.

I’m gonna go and see a man about a horse.