Who or Whom?

Who or Whom?

Harry: This is getting boring Ron: We need to find the shield of disappointment, Harry Yeah, I hope we find it soon Yeah me too! I heard it’s really good and I’m very excited! Shhh! Keep your voice down! you know who might hear us! Actually, it’s you know whom No it’s not, wait is it? “You-know-whom” “You-know-who” Look honestly no one cares No one cares This is why no one wants to go on adventures with us This! You! When is it who? and when is it whom? Also, in 2018 who even uses whom really? Whom uses whom… it’s a who or whom?

Okay, before we specifically look at who and whom you need to know one very important thing look at this sentence in this sentence this is called the “subject” the “subject” does the action in this case “love” “her” that’s the “object” the object of a sentence receives the action so she receives the love “subject” does the action “object” receives the action super easy right. hmm yeah and you’ll notice whether it’s a subject pronoun or an object pronoun it has a different form.

for example let’s reverse this so the feminine “she” is a subject pronoun and the feminine “her” is the object pronoun and the masculine “he” that’s a subject and the masculine “him” is the object pronoun who and whom work the same way who and whom they’re both pronouns “Who” is a subject pronoun “Whom” is an object pronoun. We need an example so this question is it “who loves me?” or “whom loves me?” what do you think? you see it’s actually super easy we want to know who does the action so we need “who” not “whom” we can test this by looking at the answer: “She loves me” if the answer is a subject pronoun then you need “who” because “who” is the subject pronoun! “whom” is the object pronoun, but how do we use it?

okay this question: “Who do you love?” or should it be “Whom do you love?” Well we know that he is doing the action so he’s the subject, right? we want to know who receives this action so actually… That should be “whom” “Whom do you love?” That’s how we use it, it’s that simple So why is it so confusing? it’s because you would never hear this question in real life. That’s why!

and the reason is that “whom” is becoming old-fashioned, we don’t use it really use it anymore It’s much more common to hear “Who do you love?” not “Whom” Basically basically, “who” is replacing “whom” in all situations In formal writing, yes when it’s appropriate, when you need the object pronoun, sure use “whom”! but in all cases “who” is slowly replacing “whom” another example “who did you invite?” we want to know “who received the invitation?” so actually that again is the object pronoun but again you’re not going to hear “whom did you invite to the party?”

in regular speech. No! “Who did you invite?” that’s much more common. That’s what you’ll hear and I recommend that that is what you say of course there are annoying people who will always correct “who” to “whom” in conversation it sounds annoying and it’s rude. Let “whom” die with one exception… two exceptions I mentioned formal writing yes that’s fine! The other one is this situation… “Who are you talking to?” we already know that this one that’s an object pronoun so in theory should be “Whom are you talking to?” But that doesn’t sound good! oh I know it’s because you never end a sentence with a preposition let’s change that! “To WHOM are you talking?” that… Why?

it sounds very old-fashioned and very formal if someone said that in conversation “To whom am I talking?” what century do you live in? oh I’m sorry, in which century do you live?” So this might be grammatically correct but it’s still just… however honestly after a preposition that’s when you’re most likely to hear a “whom” and when it’s more acceptable for you to say “whom” because it just it flows better okay but what about in a sentence where who or whom works as a relative pronoun?

What the hell is a relative pronoun?! Don’t worry! I’ll explain! okay if I steal money from my friend we’ve known each other for 10 years my friend very shocked we’ll say two things Aly is the guy who stole my money or Aly, who I’ve known for ages, stole my money one of these is whom and one of these is who, but which one? Aly is the guy who stole my money this… it’s all the subject. He stole my money so because it’s still the subject it’s still who this one however we’re adding more information in this relative clause here who I’ve known for ages would we say “I’ve known he” or “I’ve known him”?

Do we need the subject or object pronoun? of course we need the object pronoun so it would be I’ve known him for ages this should be “Aly, whom I’ve known for ages, stole my money” of course I would never do that I would only steal your heart I’m not proud of that one okay if you still really want to use whom and remember in formal writing I would recommend you do still use it at the moment it’s still good here’s a test to see if you’ve learned it properly A guy comes home to his girlfriend with a kiss mark on his face Should it be “Who kissed you?” or “Whom kissed you?”

What do you think? How does the sentence make sense? should we say “she kissed you” or “her kissed you”? well “her” that’s an object pronoun and that doesn’t sound good “She kissed you”, that makes sense “she” is the subject pronoun so we need the subject “who” “Who kissed you?” “who/whom did you buy this pizza for?” What would he answer? I love you I bought it for you! “for you!” We wanted to know THIS information and this is an object pronoun that’s what we wanted to know so the question is “whom” not “who” and yes of course we can say “for whom did you buy this pizza?”

that’s okay too so this is where it can get confusing in a passive sentence “who was invited?” or should it be “whom was invited?” Again it’s actually very easy, think about the answer “They were invited” “They” is a subject pronoun so “who was invited?” remember if you’re not sure think about the answer is that a subject or an object? then you’ll know if you need “who” or “whom” so in conclusion who and whom both pronouns “who” is the subject pronoun “whom” is the object pronoun “whom” is dying out and “who” is replacing “whom” in most situations personally.

I don’t really use “whom” only in formal writing when I’m trying to be formal or after a preposition in a sentence in spoken English if I’m trying to sound formal or more intelligent but honestly it’s a dying word Don’t worry about it and certainly don’t correct someone who used “who” When grammatically they should have used whom it’s annoying don’t be that person.