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007 British Accent Training

Ahو good morning agent… whatever your name is. In today’s double-0 training, you’ll be learning some advanced pronunciation techniques which could make anyone’s accent… like… completely British or whatever. These are very advanced pronunciation techniques, and as so, could make spies hide in plain sight with perfect British accents. for this reason, this pronunciation training is For British eyes only!

Please, take a seat. Today you’ll be learning these skills: intrusion, elision, assimilation and catenation. They do sound sexy but believe me, in the wrong hands, they are quite dangerous. Intrusion: Secret sounds will intrude into British sentences between words. These sounds or phonemes are: /j/, /w/, /r/. For example, I can’t thank you enough. To the not-British ear, this might sound fine. But to the trained British ear, you might notice, this isn’t 100% natural. Listen again. I can’t thank you enough. Did you hear the gap between the words “you” and “enough”? “Intrusion” will add a /w/ sound between ‘you’ and ‘enough’. This is because at the end of the word ‘you’, the mouth shape is like “ooh” and we link the two words together with a consonant sound which closely matches the mouth shape. In this case “ooh” is similar to /w/, so it sounds like this. Another example of intrusion would be, I go out. Between the words “go” and “out” again, a /w/ sound would intrude.

There are of course other examples. See I intruded an /r/ sound in that sentence, without you even knowing it. That’s how dangerous it is. Now traditionally as you know, British English doesn’t pronounce the /R/ at the end of words. We would say… However, when the next word begins with a vowel sound, we do in this case, pronounce the /R/ to link the two words together. Now I’d like to hear you repeat after me.

And finally I also mentioned that a /j/ sound can also intrude. Between those two words a /j/ sound will intrude. Why? Because ‘I’ ends in an /ɪː/ sound, the closest consonant sound to this is a /j/, so “I” also doesn’t sound right, but with intrusion, I also, sounds dangerously British! Again, the next word begins with a vowel sound and you’ll start to notice a pattern. We only intrude sounds when the next word begins with a vowel sound. Good. Now complete the training and practice with me. Intrusion with /w/… /j/ intrusion… /r/ intrusion…

The next pronunciation technique is called “Catenation” and if the Russians ever learn this, it will be the end of the world. “Catenation” is when the final consonant sound of one word sounds like it begins the next word. So for example, this afternoon, the final consonant sound /s/ from “This” joins the next word, to sound like… And together it sounds like… The first syllable is reduced to a weak form and sounds like: /ðə/. The same with… Let’s look at a few more examples… As you can see this is all super secret stuff.

Next is “Assimilation”, this is when sounds change in order to connect words. Common examples are these… Here we see what happens when one word finishes in a “T”, the next word starts with a “Y”. It’s connected with a /tʃ/ sound. Other common examples are… This becomes… An important question you might have to ask… The “T” will connect with that “Y” again with a /tʃ/ sound. When a “D” is followed by a “Y”, it doesn’t sound like /tʃ/. It sounds like /dʒ/. Common examples of this are… It changes to… Or commonly… And so on, you get the idea. And also the word “Handbag” sounds like… Which begs the question, is it secretly “Hand burger”? These techniques, this information, must not leave this room. Which brings me to the final point, “Elision”. A common example of Elision is when a word finishes in a “T” or “D”, typically in a consonant cluster and the next word begins in a consonant sound, that “T” or “D” will get removed or “Elided”. What? What’s a consonant cluster? Well, I’m glad you asked. There are no stupid questions, only stupid people.

A consonant cluster is a group of consonants together, think of for example, when a word finishes in “xt” or “st”. Words like “Next”, “Last”. We have covered that “last year” can sound like… Well, we can also elide that last “T” so it sounds like… Same with “Next year” could sound like… But we could also elide that “T” to sound like… It is quite easy to learn. You simply drop that final “T” or “D” sound but not always. If the word is alone or the next word begins with a vowel sound, you will pronounce that final “T” or “D”. For example, the word “Last”. Alone you will pronounce the “T”… If it’s “Last week”, the next word begins with a consonant sound, not a vowel sound… That’s okay. But if it begins with a vowel sound, for example, the “Last Apple”, you should pronounce the “T”…Other common examples are… In this case, the “S”s blends together, very dangerously. And finally… Other common examples of “Elision” are… In this case the “th” sound is dropped completely. Resulting in a weak schwa sound… In fact, this is the same with all “How’s the…?” questions…

Well it seems like you’re ready for your final test. You may want to check if someone is a spy or naturally British. In which case, ask them to repeat these code phrases. If they are naturally British, they should be able to pronounce them with perfect pronunciation, using these techniques. If not, they are definitely a spy… And finally…

Agent I’d like to thank you for attending today’s training session. And as I’m very confident you are completely British, I’m glad this training session has been for your eyes only.