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Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 100. Unkind Comments

This is English as a Second Language Podcast number 100. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Today we are going to talk about saying unkind or not nice things about another person and how we react to that. Let’s get started!

[start of story]

Yesterday, I was talking to an ex-colleague of mine who, frankly, has something of a big mouth. I bumped into him at the beach, where he was walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s the kind of guy who is always bad mouthing his coworkers. So he came up to me and said, “Hey, Jeff. Long time, no see. What’ve you been up to?” “Ah, not much, “ I said. “Well, guess who I saw yesterday? John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries. You remember him, the guy with big ears and and an ego to match.” “It takes one to know one,” I thought, but I kept it to myself. “Oh, really? How interesting,” I replied.

“Yeah, well, I hate to talk behind someone’s back, but ever since he and I had that falling out last year, I’ve never really cared for the guy.” “How come?” I asked. “Well, he’s a bit of a backstabber, always trying to outdo the other guy.” “I know what you mean,” I said. I knew at this point it was time to make my exit, otherwise, this guy would go on about John Robeson for the next 10 minutes.

“What time do you have?” I asked him. “It’s a quarter after five.” “Geez, already? Man, I’ve got to hit the road. I’m supposed to meet my brother at the pier in a few minutes. But, hey, it was sure good to see you again. You take care!” With that, I made my exit. I’ve got better things to do than to listen to him gripe all day.

[end of story]

I begin my story by saying that, “Yesterday I was talking to an ex-colleague of mine,” a “colleague” is someone, in this case, whom you work with. An “ex-colleague” would be someone whom you used to work with but no longer work with. I was talking to an ex-colleague, I say who “frankly, has something of a big mouth.” “frankly” here just means honestly. “He has something of a big mouth” I say. A “big mouth” is used to describe someone who likes to tell secrets or other things that are not very nice about another person, when he’s not supposed to do that. Someone with a big mouth is always talking, always giving out information that often they shouldn’t. I said that I “bumped into him at the beach.” “To bump into” someone is phrasal verb meaning “I accidentally saw him” and in this case, talk to him. “To bump into someone is not to expect to meet someone at a certain place but to see them there and usually to talk to them.

In this case my ex-colleague was “walking his dog.” He was taking his dog for a walk along the beach. I say that “anyway as I was saying”. The expression “as I was saying” is used in a conversation when you’re telling a story and then you perhaps start talking about a different topic and now you want to return to your original topic, in this case, the story. I say that “my ex-colleague is the kind of, the sort of, the type of guy or person that’s always bad mouthing his co-workers.” “To bad mouth” means to say bad things about another person. Usually when that person isn’t there with you. “To bad mouth” means to say insulting or negative things about another person.

I say that “my ex-colleague was always bad mouthing his co-workers.” “Co-workers” is the same as colleagues, people you work with. So he “came up to me”, he walked up to me and said “Hey Jeff, long time, no see.” This is an old expression “long time, no see” that we use when we see a friend or someone we know that we haven’t see in a long time. We\re saying “it’s a long time since I’ve seen you.”

“What have you been up to?” he asked me. “To be up to something” means to be doing something. So he’s asking me what I have been doing. I answer by saying “Uh, not much.” Not very much, I haven’t been doing anything interesting. “Well, guess who I saw yesterday?” he asked me. “John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries. He is telling me that he saw this man who used to work in the accounting department of a business called Firth Industries. The idea here would be, I think that the ex-colleague and I both know this man, John Robeson.

In fact the next sentence is my friend, my ex-colleague saying “you remember him, the guy with big ears and an ego to match.” The guy here just means the person. Usually guy is used in a singular to mean a man. If you say guys with a s at the end, plural, it could mean men and women or boys and girls. Guy is usually an adult male. He describes this John Robeson as a guy with big ears, large ears and an ego to match. “Ego”, ego relates to how important a person thinks he is. When we say someone has a “big ego,” we mean he thinks he’s very important. He has this idea of himself as being a very important person. My ex-colleague says that “the guy has big ears and an ego to match”. So he’s saying his ears are big and his ego is big. To match just means it’s the same. In this case what is the same is big, big ears, big ego.

“It takes one to know one.” I thought. This is an old expression, “It takes one to know one”. Means you can’t really understand something unless you also have that characteristic, unless you are also like that. It’s usually said when someone criticizes another person. If you, for example say “oh, he’s such a big mouth, he’s always talking”. You might say “it takes one to know one”. That means you’re a talker also. You have that same defact. You have that same negative quality. You would not know that he was a big mouth unless you were a big mouth. That’s the idea.

But I didn’t say that to my ex-colleague. I say that I kept it to myself. “To keep something to yourself” means not to tell anyone else, not to say it out loud. “Oh, really?” I say, “how interesting”. I’m not really interested but I’m trying to be polite.

My ex-colleague continues “Yeah, well, I hate to talk behind someone’s back.” “To talk behind someone’s back” means to say somethings negative about a person when that person isn’t there. When they’re not there in the room with you. You’re criticizing them when they’re not actually there themselves.

My ex-colleague says ever since he and I, John Robeson and I ha that falling out last year, I’ve never really cared for the guy. To have a “falling out” means to have an argument – a disagreement, often resulting in two people no longer being friends or no longer speaking to each other. So John Robeson and my ex-colleague had a disagreement, a falling out and after that time, my ex-colleague “never really cared for the guy.” “To care for,” here means to like. He never liked the guy. “How come?” I asked. “How come” is an informal way of saying why. “Well, he’s a bit of a back stabber.” A “back stabber” is someone who does something bad to you, not directly to you but by talking to other people or by doing things that you aren’t aware of, that you don’t know about until later when you find out this person did these negative things to you. “To stab”, stab, literally means to take a knife and to put it into something. To be a back stabber would mean to put a knife into someone’s back which of course would be very painful. But John Robeson isn’t a murderer. He’s not a killer. When we say someone is a back stabber, we mean they do things that often hurt other people but not directly to them, rather they use other means to hurt someone.

My ex-colleague says that John Robeson was always trying to “outdo” the other guy. “To outdo” means to do something better than another person, to compete with another person. The other guy here just means another worker, another employee.

“I know what you mean”, I said. I understand what you’re saying. Then I say in the story, I knew at this point, at this time, it was time to make my exit.” “It was time to” means now was the time to, now was the appropriate moment to do something. In this case, I’m trying to make my exit, exit. “To make your exit,” is to leave a place.

“Otherwise,” I say, “this guy would go on about John Robeson for the next ten minutes.” Otherwise means if I don’t do that or if what I just said doesn’t happen. “To go on” would mean to talk about. This guy would go on about John Robeson for the next ten minuets. I then ask my ex-colleague “What time do you have?” This is a somewhat formal way of asking someone “What the time is?” It means the same thing. What time is it? It’s a little more polite. What time do you have? It’s a quarter after 5. My ex-colleague says.It’s a quarter after 5 means it’s 5:15.

“Geez, already?” “Geez” (geez) is an informal expression of surprise. “Man I’ve got to hit the road” I say. “Man” is also an informal expression we use to express shock or wonder or surprise about something. I say that “I’ve got to hit the road.” “To hit the road” is an expression meaning to leave, to go from where you are now, to exit. “I’m supposed to meet my brother at the pier in 5 minuets”, I say. The “pier” – pier is a structure that goes out into usually the ocean, that you can walk on. So you can walk above the water on this typically wooden structure that is built. You will find piers here in southern California, there’s one not too far from me in Santa Monica.

I say that I have to meet my brother at the pier in a few minuets. But hey, hey is another informal expression, here mean the same as well. It was “sure good” to see you again. It was good to see you again. “You take care”, this is something you would say to someone, a friend, a colleague when you are leaving and you don’t think perhaps you see that person for a long time. “Well, you take care”, that just is a polite way of saying take care of yourself, I hope everything is good for you. “With that I made my exit”, meaning having said that, I left. I finish the story by saying “I’ve got better things to do than to listen to him, gripe all day”. “I’ve got better things to do” means I don’t want to waste my time on this activity that isn’t very useful to me or that I don’t like. “To gripe” (gripe) means to complain. Someone who’s always griping is always complaining, always saying negative things about the situation or about other people. Now let’s listen to the story, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

Yesterday, I was talking to an ex- colleague of mine who, frankly, has something of a big mouth. I bumped into him at the beach, where he was walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s the kind of guy that’s always bad mouthing his coworkers. So he came up to me and said, “Hey, Jeff. Long time, no see. What’ve you been up to?” “Ah, not much, “ I said. “Well, guess who I saw yesterday? John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries. You remember him, the guy with big ears and and an ego to match.” “It takes one to know one,” I thought, but I kept it to myself. “Oh, really? How interesting,” I replied.

“Yeah, well, I hate to talk behind someone’s back, but ever since he and I had that falling out last year, I’ve never really cared for the guy.” “How come?” I asked. “Well, he’s a bit of a backstabber, always trying to outdo the other guy.” “I know what you mean,” I said. I knew at this point it was time to make my exit, otherwise, this guy would go on about John Robeson for the next 10 minutes.

“What time do you have?” I asked him. “It’s a quarter after five.” “Geez, already? Man, I’ve got to hit the road. I’m supposed to meet my brother at the pier in a few minutes. But, hey, it was sure good to see you again. You take care!” With that, I made my exit. I’ve got better things to do than to listen to him gripe all day.

[end of story]

The scripts for this episode were written by my colleague, my co-worker Dr. Lucy Say. Thank you Lucy. From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Come back and listen to us again. Write here on ESL Podcast.