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Moving in Together

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 258: Moving in Together.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 258. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Remember to visit our website at eslpod.com, and download a Learning Guide for this episode, as well as take look at some of the new features we now have on our website.

The topic today is called “Moving in Together.” Let’s listen.

[start of story]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and I thought it was time to have a heart-to-heart with her.

Simon: I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you come over here and sit down for a minute?

Paula: Uh oh. Is something wrong?

Simon: No, nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything’s right. We’ve been together for a year and I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been.

Paula: Me, too. Things are going great. What is this all about?

Simon: I want us to move things to the next level. I want us to move in together.

Paula: Simon, I love you, but we can’t do that. You know how conservative my parents are. They would never approve.

Simon: They like me, don’t they?

Paula: It’s not a matter of whether they like you or not. They both adore you as much as I do. But two people moving in together before they’re married goes against their beliefs and mine.

Simon: But don’t you want to?

Paula: I’m very happy with you, but I want things to go on as they are. We spend so much time together anyway, we’re almost joined at the hip.

Simon: Are you saying you want more space?

Paula: No! What I’m saying is that I don’t want to rock the boat when things are going so well. Why don’t we hold off on any more talk about moving in together.

Simon: I suppose that’s okay - for now.

[end of story]

Our dialogue begins with Simon saying that his girlfriend and he “have been going out for a year.” To go out, in this case, means to be dating each other - to be in a romantic relationship with each other.

He says that he “thought it was time to have a heart-to-heart with” his girlfriend. The expression to “have a heart-to-heart” means to have an honest discussion, usually about some personal matter or some important private business that you have with this person, often to tell them what you really think, even though that might be difficult.

Simon says to Paula that he has something that he wants to talk to her about, and he asks her to “come over and sit down for a minute.” Paula says, “Uh oh. Is something wrong?” The expression “uh oh,” which is usually spelled “uh” and then the second word, “oh,” means, or is used when we are indicating that there might be a problem or that there is a problem with something.

So, she asks Simon, “Is something wrong?”

And Simon says, “No, nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything’s right” - everything is good. He says, “We’ve been together for a year and I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been.” Paula says, “Me, too.” Remember, in informal English we usually use the expression “me, too,” even though it isn’t grammatically correct, we should say, “I, too,” or “I, as well,” but it’s much more common to hear people say, “me, too.”

“Things are going great,” Paula says, “What is this all about?” The expression “what is this all about” is one you would use when you’re confused - you don’t know what the problem is and you want the person to give you the problem directly - to stop trying to waste time by talking about other things - “Just tell me directly with the problem is.” “What is this all about” - why are we having this conversation?

Simon says that he wants “to move things to the next level,” “level.” To move things to the next level means to get more serious about something or to take the next step. In this case, it refers to getting more serious about their relationship.

Simon says, “I want us to move in together.” To move, “move,” in (two words) means for two people to live together in the same house or the same apartment - the same place. You’ll also hear that expression more generally to mean to move to a new place. So, your friend may say, “When are you moving into your new apartment” - what day are you going to take your things and put them in your new apartment? In this case, however, it means two people living together.

Paula says, “Simon, I love you, but we can’t do that. You know how conservative my parents are. They would never approve.” Conservative, “conservative,” in this case means traditional - someone who believes in more traditional values or morals. The opposite would be liberal, “liberal,” someone who does not believe in those same values. Here, we’re probably talking about religious or moral values than anything else.

You can also talk about conservative and liberal in a political sense. Our current president is a conservative, and the person that he beat, John Kerry, in the election was a liberal. But those are political terms; here, we’re using them a little differently.

Paula explains that her parents would never approve of them moving in together. To approve, “approve,” in this case means to say okay - to say that it is something that you can do, or to say that it is all right with them - that it doesn’t bother them. Paula is saying that it will bother them; they would not approve of them moving in together.

Simon is confused. He says, “They like me, don’t they?” Paula explains why her parents would not approve. She says, “It’s not a matter of whether they like you or not.” When we say something is a matter, “matter,” of something else, we mean it’s not related to that - it’s not an issue of, or it doesn’t relate to that particular topic or problem. So in this case, Paula is saying it’s not important whether they like you or don’t like you, that’s not why they would approve or disapprove.

She says her parents “both adore” Simon as much as she does. To adore, “adore,” here means to like a lot - to love someone - to think that they are wonderful. We use this verb in lots of ways. You can say, “I adore that movie,” means there really love that movie, or “I adore my aunt. She’s a wonderful person.” Paula goes on to say that “two people moving in together before they’re married goes against their beliefs and mine.” Simon is proposing - is asking - Paula to move in with him - to live with him even though they are not married. Many people, many religious traditions in particular, are against the idea of people moving in before they are married legally and within their own religious tradition. And that is what Paula is saying here, that moving in together before they’re married “goes against their beliefs.” To go against something means to oppose something - to be on the opposite side of some issue or opinion. To go against their beliefs, then, means that it is something that is not consistent with or is not the same as their beliefs. Beliefs, “beliefs,” means what they think - their opinion - why they think what they think.

Paula says that she’s “very happy” with Simon, but she wants “things to go on as they are,” meaning she wants them to continue as they have been doing already - not to change anything - to go on. “We spend so much time together,” she says as a joke, “we’re almost joined at the hip.” To be joined, “joined,” at the hip, “hip,” means that two people spend almost all of their time together - that they’re never separated - they’re never apart from one another.

Your hip is the part of your body where your legs connect to the upper part of your body. So, the top of your legs is where you would say you have your hip. To be joined at the hip means to be connected at the hip, meaning we’re always together is what the expression is meant to say here.

Simon asks Paula if she wants more space. To want more space, “space,” means, in this case, to have less time together - not to be together so much. And Paula says, “No,” that’s not the problem. She says she doesn’t “want to rock the boat when things are going so well.” To rock, “rock,” the boat, “boat,” means to cause problems - to make problems when you don’t have to make problems. Literally, to rock a boat means to move the boat from side to side, and when you do that there is a danger that you could fall into the water. So, the expression more generally means to make problems or make trouble for yourself, even when you don’t have to do that.

Paula says, “Why don’t we hold off on any more talk about moving in together.” To hold off on something means to wait and not do something right now. “Let’s hold off on that” - let’s wait and not do that - maybe later, or if some situation changes we can think about it. But she’s saying here that she doesn’t want to talk about it, and that is the end of the dialogue!

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year and I thought it was time to have a heart-to-heart with her.

Simon: I have something I want to talk to you about. Can you come over here and sit down for a minute?

Paula: Uh oh. Is something wrong?

Simon: No, nothing’s wrong. In fact, everything’s right. We’ve been together for a year and I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been.

Paula: Me, too. Things are going great. What is this all about?

Simon: I want us to move things to the next level. I want us to move in together.

Paula: Simon, I love you, but we can’t do that. You know how conservative my parents are. They would never approve.

Simon: They like me, don’t they?

Paula: It’s not a matter of whether they like you or not. They both adore you as much as I do. But two people moving in together before they’re married goes against their beliefs and mine.

Simon: But don’t you want to?

Paula: I’m very happy with you, but I want things to go on as they are. We spend so much time together anyway, we’re almost joined at the hip.

Simon: Are you saying you want more space?

Paula: No! What I’m saying is that I don’t want to rock the boat when things are going so well. Why don’t we hold off on any more talk about moving in together.

Simon: I suppose that’s okay - for now.

[end of story]

The script for today’s podcast was written by Dr. Lucy Tse.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. This podcast is copyright 2007.