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Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 89

A Good Listener.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 89. I’m Dr. Jeff McQuillan, your host, from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

On this podcast, we’re going to talk about ways of listening politely to someone else. We’ll listen to a conversation. Here we go!

Hi. Long time no see. How have you been?

Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son.

Tell me all about it.

Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think he’s running around with the wrong crowd.

Oh, I see. What makes you think that?

Well, he’s become friends with a couple of older boys who are in a band and one night last weekend, he came home really late, way past his curfew.

Really? What happened?

He told me that his friend’s car broke down and they had to walk home.

I see what you mean. I understand why you’re concerned. Have you tried talking to your son about it?

I haven’t yet. I just keep hoping it’s just a phase he’s going through.

You may be right, but it doesn’t hurt to find out more about what’s going on in his life.

You’re right. I should talk to him. Sometimes, it’s not easy being a parent. Thanks. It helps to get it off my chest. You’re always so easy to talk to.

I don’t know about that, but my door is always open. Stop by anytime.

We listened to two co-workers, two people who work together, having a conversation and the conversation begins by the woman saying, “Hi. Long time, no see.” “Long time, no see” means, “I haven’t seen you in a long time.” And she asks the man, “How have you been?” meaning, “How have you been feeling? How are you doing?” And the man says, “I’ve been fine, but I have some trouble with my son.” The woman then says, “Tell me all about it.” This is an expression we use when someone – you want someone to tell you all of the details. It’s a polite way of inviting the person to share their story or their problem. In this case, the man has a problem with his 14-year-old son. Who doesn’t have a problem with a 14-year-old son? And he says the son is a bit “secretive.” “To be secretive,” you can guess, means to keep secrets, to not tell other people, to keep things to yourself. The boy is also, according to his father, “running around with the wrong crowd.” “To run around with” doesn’t here mean physically that he’s running on a race track. “To run around” means that he is associating with, he’s hanging around, he’s in the company of other people, so that particular expression, “running around,” usually means that he has friends that are not very good for him. The “wrong crowd” is an expression, meaning people that are going to cause you more problems, that are going to be a bad influence on you. “He’s running around with the wrong crowd.” Of course, “crowd” also means a large group of people but here it means the friends or the people that his son has become friends with.

The woman then says, “Oh, I see,” which, of course, is a common way of indicating to the person you’re talking to that you’re listening. “Oh, I see. What makes you think that?” she asks the man. In other words, “Why do you think that?” “What makes you think that?” means, “Why do you have that opinion?” And the man says that he’s becoming – his son has become friends with some older boys who are in a “band.” A “band” of course, would be like a rock band, and that’s trouble, right? Then the man says that he came home very late, way past his “curfew.” “Curfew” (curfew), here, means the time in which someone is supposed to be back home. So, a teenager might say, “I have a 10 o’clock curfew.” That means, “I have to be home by 10 o’clock.” The woman says, “Really? What happened?” Again, those are ways of indicating that you’re listening. “Oh, really?” And she asks for more information because she’s a good listener, I guess.

Well, the man says that his son’s friend’s car “broke down” and they had to walk home. “To break down,” here, means that it stopped working. Machines – we often talk about machines, like cars, breaking down, particularly cars. “My car broke down. The engine stopped working or there was some problem with it.” The woman then says, “I see what you mean.” This means, “I understand what you’re saying,” and it is a good expression to show the other person that you are listening. “I see what you mean.” I understand. That’s why she then says, “I understand why you’re concerned.” “To be concerned” means to be worried, to be anxious, to be thinking about a problem. The man says that he hopes that it’s just a “phase” his son is “going through.” The expression “just a phase he’s going through” means – Well, let’s start with the word “phase.” “Phase” is – here, means a period of time or a length of time, a “phase” of something. For example, we talk about the “phases of the moon,” when the moon is full and when the moon is half – a half moon, a new moon. When you can’t see the moon at all, we call that a “new moon.” Those are all “phases” of the moon and that just means the period of time. But when you say someone is “going through a phase,” we mean it’s a temporary – or we hope it’s a temporary change in their behavior or in their attitude. That’s what the man means when he says, he hopes his son – that “it’s just a phase he’s going through,” meaning he’ll eventually, as he gets older, not have these problems. That’s what we hope anyway. The woman says, “You may be right but it doesn’t hurt to find out more.” The expression “it doesn’t hurt,” means it would be a good idea; it won’t cause you any problems to do something else like ask more questions. It has nothing to do with physically hurting like you hit your head on the door or something. That’s not what the expression refers to. “It doesn’t hurt to” and then the verb about what you’re saying the person should do. “It doesn’t hurt to close your windows at night, in case it rains.” It won’t cost you that much. It doesn’t cause you problems. The man then says that he appreciates the opportunity to talk to the woman and says, “It helps to get it off my chest.” The expression, “to get something off your chest,” means that – usually there’s some problem or something that you want to tell someone and if you tell them it, you will feel better. So, let’s say you perhaps, have a – something you want to tell your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend or your teacher, but you’re reluctant, you don’t really want to, and finally you decide to tell them and you say, “I want to get this off my chest” – means it’s been bothering me and I now want to tell you so that I’ll feel better about whatever it is.

The woman says that her “door is always open.” When someone says, “My door is always open,” they mean you can come and talk to me anytime you want – that I’m available for you to talk to.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue at a native rate of speech.

Hi. Long time no see. How have you been?

Oh, I’ve been fine, but I’m having some trouble with my son.

Tell me all about it.

Oh, he’s 14 and in the past few months, he’s become quieter and a bit secretive. He locks himself in his room and I think he’s running around with the wrong crowd.

Oh, I see. What makes you think that?

Well, he’s become friends with a couple of older boys who are in a band. And one night last weekend, he came home really late, way past his curfew.

Really? What happened?

He told me that his friend’s car broke down and they had to walk home.

I see what you mean. I understand why you’re concerned. Have you tried talking to your son about it?

I haven’t yet. I just keep hoping it’s just a phase he’s going through.

You may be right, but it doesn’t hurt to find out more about what’s going on in his life.

You’re right. I should talk to him. Sometimes, it’s not easy being a parent. Thanks. It helps to get it off my chest. You’re always so easy to talk to.

I don’t know about that, but my door is always open. Stop by anytime.

We’d love to hear from you and you can write us and tell us who you are and where you’re listening from. Our email address is eslpod@eslpod.com.

From Los Angeles, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time on ESL Podcast

ESL Podcast is produced by the Center for Educational Development in Los Angeles, California. This podcast is copyright 2005.