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Weddings – Conversation Lesson

Joe: So Andy’s wedding invitation came in the mail today. I know you know that they’re getting married in a beach town, but they’re actually having the wedding ceremony on the beach. I think this is only the second time I’ve ever been to a wedding that was actually on a beach. The first one was Mark and Kelly’s wedding.

Kristin: I’ve never been to a wedding on the beach so I guess I don’t have to worry about wearing shoes. I could go barefoot.

Joe: Yeah, it’s a bikini’s mandatory for the women and the guys…

Kristin: Yeah, right. No, seriously though, I would imagine a lot of people will be barefoot, right? Because I’ve seen pictures of people who’ve gotten married and the actual couple getting married, they’re usually barefoot.

Joe: Yeah, they’re going to wear sandals and he encouraged people to wear sandals so they don’t get sand in their shoes. But, obviously, that’s not really common for weddings. Like I said, I think it’s only the second time I will have ever been to a wedding that was on a beach. I don’t know if you guys have even ever been to one. Kristin, you said you haven’t…AJ?

AJ: I’ve seen them when living in Hawaii. I would see people getting married on the beach. Actually, it’s a common thing in Hawaii, which is not surprising because of the whole island/beach culture. But not only Hawaiians, a lot of Japanese people come over to Hawaii to get married and some of them do it in hotels but some of them will do it on the beach because it’s that kind of romantic thing with the perfect Hawaiian weather and the beach and the sand and the sunset. So, but you’re right, yeah, overall in the rest of the country it’s not the traditional thing. Actually, it’s probably more about Hollywood thing that people see, in a church with, y’know, the music and the white dress and the tuxedos and all that.

Kristin: I think getting married on the beach would be fun. Y’know, I like going to fun weddings. AJ, do you remember that wedding of my friend from high school that we went to? She was Southern Baptist and so they got married in the church and then the party after, like that’s the…that should be the fun part, the celebration of the actual ceremony, but it took place in the downstairs, in the basement of the church and everybody was just sitting around with these dour looks on their faces. It was not fun at all.

AJ: Yes, I do remember. That was one of the least joyful, happy, fun weddings I’ve ever been to. It was so heavy and serious and religious. So, yeah, I do remember that one because I remember thinking as I was leaving, just thinking, “Oh my god, that was…that was really heavy.”

Kristin: I don’t even think they had any music playing. Y’know, it’s really fun if you…if you go to a wedding and then at the reception they’ve got a live band. But even if not a live band, a DJ, y’know, as long as they’re playing good music. But I don’t even think there was any music going on at this wedding.

Joe: When I was younger and I used to attend family weddings, on my mom’s side of the family, they were huge. I mean, two, three hundred people at the wedding. Food that was so immense, I mean there was so much food it was ridiculous, y’know? I think the common thing was first you would have everyone go and there’d be kind of like cocktails and there’d be food that was like considered almost a snack but it was as much food as you would need for an actual meal. And then there…and then you’d move to a different room a lot of the times because the reception would be in more than one room and then they would have an enormous like dinner. And then they’d have like another course after the dinner which was like fruits and nuts and stuff like that. And that was all before the dessert. I mean it was just so over the top and gluttonous. And I just can’t even imagine how much a wedding like that must cost these days.

AJ: They’re pretty elaborate. I guess traditionally for American weddings there’s…there’s the, what, the rehearsal, right? Where just the wedding party comes and there is usually a rehearsal dinner that, I can’t remember who pays for the rehearsal dinner.

Joe: The groom’s parents pay…

AJ: Right.

Joe: …and a lot of the time if there are people coming from out of town, they generally go to that dinner as well.

AJ: And then there’s the actual ceremony which is traditionally held in a church or if they’re not religious it could be held, I guess, anywhere. And then after that there’s the reception, which is basically the big party with music and dancing and food. And altogether, that…that can be quite expensive and quite elaborate. Y’know, weddings vary, obviously, according to the bride and groom, but they can still be quite expensive and stressful, I think.

Kristin: Y’know, my older brother when he got married, there were actually even a lot of parties going on before the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. So it just…it just kept adding up, the cost. I think his wedding was quite expensive which, y’know, her family paid, mostly paid for. But I think, y’know, there are people

who want to not have to have that kind of expense. They don’t want to go into debt for their wedding and they’ll just elope a lot of times. Or they’ll have a really small wedding and try and do it as simply and cheaply as possible because it can be quite expensive.

Joe: Yeah, y’know, I don’t think that the tradition of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding is one that is necessarily adhered to anymore in the United States. And maybe that’s because people are getting married later. I mean it would kind of seem weird if you’re like 35 years old and, y’know, you ask your parents to pay for the wedding. It kind of…it kind of seems a little strange.

Kristin: Yeah.

Joe: So maybe that’s a tradition that was born out of the fact that people were getting married at a very young age and they didn’t have the means to pay for the wedding.

Kristin: Right.

Joe: But, do you think that even nowadays it’s common for a bride’s parents to pay for the wedding just in general?

Kristin: I…I don’t honestly know, but I would think not because of what you’re saying. People are getting married later and so they’re already many times have a career going. And it wouldn’t make sense to ask their parents to pay. But you know also, sometimes people elope not just for the expense but because of the stress. Weddings apparently, especially I think traditionally for the bride, could be very stressful. There’s a term, bridezilla, where the bride is just horrible to deal with. And I know like this woman I take a lot of my clothes to to be altered, she deals with a lot of brides and - y’know, altering their wedding dresses or making their wedding dresses from scratch - and she’s told me some horrible stories of the brides just being extremely bitchy and just really difficult to deal with.

AJ: I think, too, that now, maybe because of the expense, because people are getting married later, because there are fewer religious people, people aren’t as religious, there’s just a lot more variety now so whereas maybe in the past, decades ago, there was kind of a standard wedding depending on your religion, y’know, Jewish or Christian, mostly. But now there’s just such a wide variety. Everyone just does whatever they want to, basically. So some people might do something traditional and then beach weddings, and you’ve got all range and variety now of ceremonies and parties and things.