درسنامه اصلی

Interdependence - VIP Audio

Hi, this is AJ. Welcome VIP members to our new lesson. This month we’re going to talk about something a little more philosophical maybe. It may be a little less directly practical, but still an interesting topic I think. So, let’s get started. The topic is ‘Interdependence’, so first let’s talk about the meaning of that word.

‘Dependence’ really means to rely on. In this case we’re talking about people, so to rely on someone. If you are dependent on someone then you rely on them or you need them for something. Then this word ‘inter’ means between, between. So this means between dependence, between needing others. That’s kind of the general idea and I’ll talk about really how we use it in a minute, this idea of needing or being connected to or depending on others.

So the basic meaning of this word ‘interdependence’ in a more practical way is that all people are connected. It really gives this idea that all people are connected, that everyone depends on everyone else. So we typically have in our minds kind of a hierarchical idea usually in society or between people, so this hierarchical idea.

‘Hierarchical’ is the adjective and it means something that is organized into a hierarchy.

Hierarchy is the noun.

A ‘hierarchy’ is a ranking. In this case we’re talking about people or an organization. So a hierarchy is a ranking of levels from like top to bottom. So it’s not equal, in other words. It’s this idea, for example, in a typical company, a large company you would have let’s say the CEO. He’d be at the top of the hierarchy, the top of the organization and then you might have presidents and vice presidents would be the next level. Then under that, I don’t know, whatever comes under that in major companies and then you would have maybe middle managers and then you would have the frontline workers.

It’s kind of a pyramid shape usually, right? So there’s a few at the top and then a lot of people at the bottom. The guys at the top get paid lots and lots of money and the guys at the bottom not so much usually. This is a hierarchy. It’s uneven. You’ve got a bottom and then it stacks up to the top. The people at the top get the most benefits, the most money, the most people and the people at the bottom the least.

So that’s a hierarchy or a hierarchical structure. It’s a little hard to say that. Hierarchical is just the adjective that describes that kind of structure where things are uneven and the people at the bottom depend on the person at the top. The person at the top has most of the power and influence and money and kind of controls through the organization all the way down to the bottom.

So what we’re talking about – this idea of interdependence – is a little bit different. It’s more of the idea of like a web. If you can imagine a spider’s web where everybody is kind of connected to each other in this big web and there’s no point that you can say is the top or the beginning. It’s just this huge web where each point is connected directly or indirectly to all the other points. This is the idea of interdependence or interconnection, ‘inter’ meaning between.

So ‘interdependence’ means that everyone in that web depends on everyone else. So at the same time everyone else is depending on you and you are depending on everyone else. To say this in another way, everyone else needs you, you need everyone else.

This is the idea of interdependence.

I’ll get even more philosophical and out there for a moment and then we’ll talk about more practical, but let’s first talk about kind of the deeper idea of this. If you read about physics, the kind of cutting-edge physics, ‘cutting edge’ means new or innovative. It’s kind of the newest idea, the most innovative ideas. I like to just read kind of popular science stuff, especially about physics. I don’t know why, it just seems interesting to me.

In physics a lot what you’ll find is this idea of interconnection, that all things are, in fact, connected and that if you really read a lot of this stuff there’s the idea that all things are really one, that all things are made of energy in the Universe and that there’s not a separation. There’s not really, in fact, a clear separation between me and you or a chair and a table. In one way when we see these things they’re structured, they’re separate, but at a deeper level they’re all kind of interconnected energy. Which is quite interesting, so what does that mean to us? What does that mean to your life?

Well, what it means at the first level is just to think about this idea of connection and that all things are connected and that there’s really nothing that is totally separate and there’s no one that is totally separate. So I give you a lot of kind of American ideas and philosophy and culture because I am American or as our South American friends would say I am North American.

Anyway, it’s kind of a world view which is very individualistic. So in the United States we value individualism. We value this idea that we’re self reliant, that each individual takes care of themselves and that has some very positive things, but I want to kind of give the flipside, which means the other side of this idea to balance it out and that’s what we’re talking about today.

To balance that idea out of being self reliant and a strong individual, which is great, we also have to remember that on the other side of that something else is also true, which is that we’re not separate, that we are all connected, that we need other people and that they need us. In fact, if you go really beyond that, if you really want to go deep into it, that you are the rest of the world and the rest of world is you. You are made up of everything out there.

If there was no sun, if there was no earth, if there was no sky, if there was no water, if there were no other people you couldn’t exist. You can ponder that at a deeper level hopefully and really think about it deeply because what it really means is that this sort of modern idea of doing everything yourself and going it alone is really not natural. So the practical way to think of all this, if you really want to think about how this idea can be useful to you in your life, is to understand this sort of, again, paradox or seeming contradiction. That’s what ‘paradox’ means. It means something that seems to be contradictory, ‘contradictory’ meaning going against its self.

So on one hand we have this idea of self reliance and independence being important, that it’s not good to be overly dependent on others because that puts you in a position of being weak and not equal. So, for example, to be dependent on people at the top of a hierarchy, oh, I’ll depend on the company. I’ll depend on the boss. I’ll depend on these others to take care of me. That’s no so good because it makes you weak, puts you in a position of weakness and it’s also not so good because you’re trusting these people at the top and maybe they’re not so trustworthy, in fact. It kind of puts you into like a victim position where you’re not really the master of your own life.

So we can see for all of these reasons that being dependent is not such a great thing.

On the other hand the opposite extreme or the other side of that would be to be totally individual, totally alone, totally separate and that can lead to a lot of isolation where, eventually, if you don’t rely on anyone else and you don’t really trust other people and you have this idea of always being separate that you can become quite lonely. It can be very, very stressful and, in fact, it’s impossible to achieve anything totally by yourself. I mean there’s just no way to totally achieve something or to have a decent life absolutely completely by yourself. You’re always connected. Even if you’re not in a room with other people you’re still connected to them.

The idea of interdependence is really finding the way these two things go together, so you’re not totally independent and you’re not dependent. Interdependent is this idea that sometimes maybe in your life you’re very self reliant and strong and that in some aspects of your life that is a great attitude to have, but then in other aspects of your life you recognize that you are dependent and that you need others and that you emphasize that connection. So a lot of the challenge or the art is to find when to maybe emphasize self reliance and that independence and strength and when to emphasize the dependence and to focus on connecting and getting help or helping others.

I’ve given you all these different pieces in past lessons, so I really want to talk about this topic because I want to give you a more general idea or philosophy or frame of reference, point of view to sort of take all these ideas and think of them all as one, as a big whole. So on one hand what I would like you to do is to think about giving freely to other people. This is the practical use of this idea of interdependence. One is the idea of just to give freely to other people without coercion. ‘Coercion’ means to be forced to do something, to be pressured to do something.

So I mean without coercion to just focus on how can I help other people? How can I give to other people? In what way can you contribute to other people? You can certainly do that in our group in the VIP Club. You can focus on just giving little bits of encouragement to people who need encouragement. You can give a little bit of advice.

You can share your own success stories.

These are ways to give to other people, to give to other members and in that way you’re kind of sharing this interdependence. You’re helping them. You recognize that if they’re happier, if they’re stronger, if they’re more successful then they in turn will help you. At a future time or maybe even right now they may give you encouragement when you need it. They may give you inspiration when you need it. So by giving you’re also receiving.

The second half of this is I want you to focus on accepting help from others with no guilt and, in fact, asking for it when you need it. This is something else that sometimes is kind of hard for us. We’re struggling. We need some help. We need encouragement.

Maybe we’re just feeling tired, whatever, and we really could benefit from others help, even of just a kind word, but we don’t tell people that we need help. We don’t let people know.

This is the other half of it. So, on one hand focus on giving and helping others. On the other hand, accepting that help with no feeling of guilt, no feeling of shame. So if you’re having a struggle, if you’re having a difficulty in your life, I encourage you again on our site to share this and to just openly receive whatever you may need, encouragement, inspiration, help from others.

We’ll talk more about this in the commentary, all right? So for now just think about this idea. It’s kind of a very big general idea, but it can actually have some quite deep affects on your life if you really think about it deeply. Anyway, I will see you in the commentary.

Have a great day and a great month.