درسنامه اصلی

##Dolphins – Coaching Lesson

Hi, I’m AJ Hoge. Welcome to this month’s lesson. A long time ago, back when I was a teenager, actually, no, I’m sorry, I would have been in my 20s at this time, in my 20s, my first girlfriend broke up with me. And I was super sad as you may know, maybe you’ve experienced this or maybe you can remember this, y’know, the first…the first girlfriend or boyfriend and the first breakup is often the hardest one. Oh, it’s so emotional, right? You think the world is over.

And after the breakup I was incredibly depressed. For months I was depressed. And I would just stay holed up in my apartment, holed up meaning hiding, kind of in my apartment at the time. I almost never went out and I just went out to get food, then I would come back and I would just stay in my apartment, hiding from the world, feeling sorry for myself, feeling depressed. Maybe I watched movies occasionally, that’s about it.

Well, this went on and on and on and eventually I realized, y’know, this is not a good situation. I can’t continue, y’know, hiding away. And I got kind of sick of being depressed all the time and I got sick of my apartment, looking at the same walls all the time. So finally one day I managed to get myself motivated enough to get in my car and I drove out to a park, a local park in the town.

And I got out and I went for a walk.

Got out into the woods among the trees and just started walking along. And this particular park had a path that went down to a river and then went alongside of the river so I went down to the riverside and then walked along the river. Still feeling sad and depressed, of course, but despite feeling sad and depressed, y’know, I looked around. Looked at the trees. Looked at the river going by.

Then naturally, of course, I started to notice some of the animals that were around, some of the wildlife, especially birds, right? There’s lots of little birds around and at one point I sat down on a rock and I just watched the birds flying around. Watched their behavior. Watched how they would, y’know, fly down to the ground and pick at the ground, y’know, getting bugs or whatever.

Time passed and as time went on I got more and more fascinated by the birds. They were quite interesting, watching, y’know, how they interacted with each other, listening to their singing and watching as they would kick around in the dirt looking for bugs and eating. It was all, I don’t know, I can’t explain why, but it was all just fascinating, very entertaining and interesting to me.

And the more I watched, the more fascinated I got with their behavior, the more I forgot about all my sorrows and sadness from that breakup. And finally, I don’t know how much time passed, but eventually, y’know, I sort of woke up from being almost hypnotized by the birds and, y’know, walked back on the path, went to my car and went home, but I felt better. I felt a lot better.

And so this became a daily ritual then, a daily pattern. Go down to the park, that park or another park, and I would, y’know, walk along the path or walk through the woods and I would especially observe the animals, usually the birds, but occasionally I would see a deer. Every now and then if I walked quietly I would see a deer off in the distance, which was…which was even more interesting.

I would always, y’know, try to stay still and just watch them moving slowly. Watching their eyes, watching their bodies, watching as they were walking through the woods. If they heard me a little bit they would freeze, right? They would be listening for me and I would be listening for them. They’d be looking for me and I’d be watching them.

And day after day after day of doing this, I gradually felt better and better and better. And at those moments, during those moments where I was especially fascinated with the wildlife, my feeling of loneliness disappeared and I felt, hard to explain this, why or how, but I felt some kind of connection or kinship, we say. Kinship is a feeling of being part of a family, right?

I didn’t feel like oh, those are just separate beings, animals, they have nothing to do with me. But rather I felt like, ah, we have some connection. The birds, the deer and I, and even the plants and the trees around me. And maybe because I was in such a sad emotional state I was more open to this kind of realization or connection. Like I needed it. But as the days and weeks went by doing this, y’know, I realized that I felt, I could feel, not just intellectually, no, but feel that in fact nature and I were the same.

I was not separate from nature. I was not separate from the animals, but connected to them, part of them. I am nature and nature is me. Very philosophical but I felt it. I felt it, y’know, inside, deep inside.

And that feeling of being connected to nature or being part of nature, a feeling of connection with those animals, helped tremendously in overcoming that feeling of sadness and loneliness from that breakup.

Unfortunately, in modern life, most of us live in urban-type environments and we don’t have as much of a chance to connect with, especially with wildlife or with the wild. Because of that, I think many of us walk around with a bit of a feeling of separation, that we think of nature as outside of us. Nature is a thing that’s outside of us and then there’s us, human beings. We are not part of that. We’re different.

And the same is true of animals, y’know, animals are just things that maybe we eat sometimes or things that are out there in nature but they have nothing to do with us. We’re not connected to them. We’re not part of them. That’s kind of the feeling that modern life creates. And because of that, it can feel very lonely, I think. That’s made worse, of course, if you don’t have many connections with human beings either.

But it’s an unnatural feeling, an unnatural situation because, in truth, we are a part of nature.

We’re not separate from it. Human beings came out of nature. Indeed, we are nature. We’re a part of nature.

Indeed, we are animals, okay? Just as a dog or a cat or a bird is, right? We have a heart just like they do. We have eyes just like they do. We have feelings just as they do. We have brains like they do. We have eyes and ears and we taste and we eat. We’re more alike than different, if you think of it that way.

I think of another situation in my life when I was quite stressed out. I was actually on the island, the Hawaiian island of Maui. Now, it’s kind of hard to imagine being stressed out in Hawaii but I managed to do it. I was stressed out about different things in my life. Stressed out and again feeling a bit separated.

My wife and I were there and we started doing kind of again, a daily activity of going to the south part of the island and going snorkeling, we started snorkeling.

And my wife loves sea turtles. She loves, loves, loves sea turtles. So we went to this one beach where we could always find sea turtles. So we would go into the water and snorkel around with the sea turtles.

And it was always again kind of a magical experience. We would get right close to them. We wouldn’t touch them. You’re not supposed to touch them because it bothers them, it stresses them out.

But we would just swim very near them. They didn’t seem to mind. And we could watch them.

You could see their eyes even. Just watch them swimming around and we would just swim around with them.

And again I noticed that same feeling of connection with them. Like, we’re not separate, we’re not so different actually. I know they can’t talk. They’re not human. But, still, it’s like okay, we’re still beings on this planet together.

And again I found that…that sharing that connection with them and also just the calm of swimming in the water with them helped little by little, day by day to reduce that feeling of stress that I had. I started to feel better and better. And again a feeling of connection with something much bigger. You can call it nature.

You can call it the universe. You can call it the, y’know, sentient beings, meaning beings that are aware, beings that are awake. Very calming. Very powerful.

I believe it’s sort of the perfect antidote, the perfect medicine for the bad parts, the stressful parts of modern life, with all our technology, with all our distractions, with the tendency of urban living to separate us, to make us feel unconnected, to make us feel somewhat lonely, that getting out into nature but especially with animals, especially with wildlife, has some sort of healing quality.

I’ve talked about this in past lessons, the power of getting out into nature. But this time what I’m really talking about specifically is wildlife. Getting out there with the animals and recognizing your kinship, right, your connection with them. That we’re actually all part of this big family of, y’know, living beings on the planet. That we’re not different. We’re not separate.

This month therefore, I encourage you to try this. Just try it with an open mind. See what happens. Find a way to create some kind of connection with wildlife, wild animals. How could you do this? Number one, you could try going to or volunteering at a nature center. Many towns in different parts of the world have a nature center, a nature center where they, either they teach about nature and they teach about wild animals.

And at some of them they actually rescue injured animals, injured birds and other injured animals and then they help them to get better and release them back, out into the wild. So you could volunteer at one of these places, maybe just once a month or once a week. And when you do, y’know, watch the animals, like really observe them mindfully with a quiet mind, a quiet and open mind.

When you do it, you’re going to feel that connection again. You’re going to realize that, wow, they’re not aliens. They’re something we share together. It’s a good feeling and it will reduce that modern feeling of isolation.

Another thing you could do is exactly what I did. Go for a hike in the woods or the mountains or wherever you live, but get out more in nature. And as you do it though, look for the wildlife. You could bring some binoculars, y’know, which help you see farther distance. One way to do this, a very popular way of many people, is birdwatching.

You can go birdwatching. There are birds in most places that are probably the easiest wildlife to see in most places. So again, you can bring a camera or you could bring binoculars, or if you have good eyes, just use your eyes. And just go somewhere, sit down where there’s some birds and just watch them.

Nothing at all, no purpose at all. You’re not…you don’t have to take pictures of them, you don’t have to draw them, you don’t have to identify what species they are. None of that. Just watch them.

Watch them for 30 minutes. Watch them for an hour. That’s it. Observe them carefully with a quiet mind.

And again, notice the feelings that come up because if you do this several times you will again start to feel that…that quieting of your mind and then a connection to those animals and realizing again that we’re not separate.

You can even do this with bugs, okay? If you can’t find any birds, if you can’t find any deer or other animals, larger animals, you can even do it with insects. They’re quite fascinating actually.

I mean, when I was a kid I used to do this a lot. I used to observe ants. I loved ants. I’d observe ants. I thought they Dolphins were fascinating. And I would watch them, y’know, moving around in their little lines and follow them back to their houses. Watch them carrying stuff, y’know, back into the little holes in the ground.

Fascinating and again, y’know, I didn’t realize it when I was a kid but again, you again realize what…these are intelligent beings. They have some level of intelligence and awareness. They’re alive and they’re sharing this planet with us and we have a connection to all that. We’re not separate from it.

We’re not isolated in our little cities and towns. We feel that way, but we’re not.

Especially, if you get a chance, especially if you can see some wildlife fairly close, even with binoculars, y’know, watch how they move. Look in their eyes if you get a chance. So that is your homework for this month. I know it might seem a little strange. Just try it. Trust me. Try it out.

Try it out several times during the month. Do it with a quiet mind and notice that feeling of connection that comes up.

I think you’re going to enjoy it. In fact, I know you will. I will see you next time. Have a great month. Bye for now.