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The Mars Club – Mini-Story Lesson

Hi, I’m Joe Weiss and I’m one of the teachers and directors of Learn Real English and I’d like to welcome you to this mini-story lesson.

Okay, I want to start today’s lesson by telling you about some of the words and phrases that you will hear me use in today’s story. So let’s start.

Okay, first is a “bartender”. So a bartender is a person who serves drinks at a bar. So here’s an example for you. I asked the bartender to get me a beer. So what I’m saying is I asked the person who serves drinks at the bar to get me a beer.

Okay, so next is “crooked”. So if a person is crooked it means that person is dishonest, okay? So here’s an example with crooked. I refused to purchase a car from the salesman, because he was crooked. Okay, so what I’m saying is I refused to purchase a car from the salesman, because he was dishonest. He was crooked.

Okay, so next is “to go under”. And what I’m talking about is a business going under. So when a business goes under, it means that it fails financially, okay? It fails because it’s not making enough money to stay in business, okay?

Alright, let me give you an example with this one to help you understand it a little better. Pete was a cook at an Indian restaurant, but unfortunately Pete lost his job when the restaurant went under.

Okay, so what I’m saying is Pete was a cook at an Indian restaurant, but unfortunately Pete lost his job when the restaurant failed financially, it went under.

Okay, so next is “Martian”. So the word Martian means from Mars, from the planet Mars, okay? So here’s an example. Pete loved Martian literature. Okay, so what I’m saying is Pete loved literature from Mars. He loved writings from Mars, that’s what literature means, okay?

Okay, so next is “a cocktail”. And this is one that you may have already heard of before. A cocktail is an alcoholic drink, okay, which means it’s a drink with alcohol in it.

Okay, so here’s an example for you. Harry ordered two cocktails when he arrived at the party. Okay, so what I’m saying is Harry ordered two alcoholic drinks when he arrived at the party.

Okay, so I have one more for you and this is one I like a lot because it’s one that I remember my mother using a lot when I was younger, okay?

So what I’m talking about is “to be out of your mind”. Okay, so if you are out of your mind, it means that you’re crazy, okay? So here’s an example for you. Harry’s wife thought that Harry was out of his mind when he said he wanted to give away all of his money.

So what I’m saying is Harry’s wife thought that Harry was crazy when Harry said he wanted to give away all of his money. She thought he was out of his mind so she thought he was crazy.

Okay, so now I’m going to tell you a story, but I’m also going to ask you a lot of questions as I tell you the story. So when I ask you a question I want you to answer that question quickly. Okay, just tell me the first answer that comes into your mind.

And don’t worry about making a mistake because you’re going to listen to this lesson many times.

So if you make a mistake this time when you listen to this lesson, you probably will not make the same mistake next time. And when you answer these questions, I want you to speak loudly and confidently.

Okay, well it’s time for our story then. So let’s begin.

There was a man and his name was Jim and Jim was a bartender. And Jim loved being a bartender but unfortunately Jim hated his boss. Jim’s boss was named Richard and Jim hated Richard because Richard was a crooked businessman and Jim was always honest.

Okay, time for some questions.

Who was a bartender? Was AJ a bartender?

No, no, AJ wasn’t a bartender.

Who was a bartender?

Jim was. Jim was a bartender.

And was Jim a lawyer or a bartender?

He was a bartender. Jim was not a lawyer. He was a bartender.

So tell me this. Did Jim serve drinks at a bar?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim was a bartender so that means that Jim served drinks at a bar, because a bartender serves drinks at a bar.

So tell me this now. Did Jim hate his boss?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim hated his boss.

Who hated his boss?

Jim did. Jim hated his boss.

And who did Jim hate?

His boss. Jim hated his boss.

So tell me this. Did Jim like his boss or did he hate his boss?

Oh, he hated him. Jim hated his boss.

So what was Jim’s boss’ name?

Richard. His name was Richard.

So who was Jim’s boss then?

Richard was. Richard was Jim’s boss.

And tell me this. Was Jim Richard’s boss?

No, no, Jim was not Richard’s boss. Richard was Jim’s boss.

So why did Jim hate Richard? Did he hate Richard because Richard was a crooked businessman?

Yes, yes, he hated Richard because Richard was a crooked businessman.

Who was a crooked businessman? Was Jim a crooked businessman?

No, no, Jim was not a crooked businessman.

Who was a crooked businessman?

Richard was. Richard was a crooked businessman.

And tell me this. What kind of businessman was Richard?

A crooked one. Richard was a crooked businessman.

So was Richard an honest businessman?

No, no, Richard was a crooked businessman so that means he was a dishonest businessman. He was not honest. He was a dishonest businessman.

Okay, but what about Jim? Was Jim crooked?

No, no, Jim was not crooked. Jim was always honest.

So was Jim honest just sometimes?

No, no, Jim was always honest.

Well, one day Jim quit his job. He quit his job because he hated working for Richard. And Jim decided to open his own bar. But when Jim told Richard he wanted to open his own bar, Richard was not encouraging, no. In fact, Richard told Jim that Jim’s bar would go under in less than one year.

Okay, time for some more questions.

Who quit his job?

Jim did. Jim quit his job.

And what did Jim quit? Did Jim quit smoking?

No, no, Jim didn’t quit smoking.

What did Jim quit?

His job. Jim quit his job.

Okay, but why? Why did Jim quit his job?

Well, Jim quit his job because he hated working for Richard.

Who hated working for Richard?

Jim did. Jim hated working for Richard.

And did Jim hate working for Kristin or Richard?

Richard, he hated working for Richard. He did not hate working for Kristin.

So tell me this. Who planned to open his own bar?

Jim did. Jim planned to open his own bar.

And did Jim plan to open his own restaurant or bar?

Bar. Jim planned to open his own bar.

So tell me this though. Did Richard tell Jim that his bar would go under in less than one year?

Yes, yes, he did. Richard told Jim that Jim’s bar would go under in less than one year.

Who told Jim that Jim’s bar would go under in less than one year?

Richard did. Richard told Jim that Jim’s bar would go under in less than one year.

So tell me this. Did Richard tell Jim that Jim’s bar would go under in less than one year or less than seven years?

Less than one year, he told him that his bar would go under in less than one year.

So did Richard tell Jim that Jim’s bar would financially fail in less than one year?

Yes, yes, he did. He told him that his bar would go under in less than one year, so that means that he told him that his bar would fail financially in less than one year. It would fail, because it wouldn’t have enough money to continue in less than one year.

Well, Jim wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar so Jim went to Mars. Yes, Jim went to Mars because he wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks. And after Jim arrived on Mars, he went to a bar and he asked the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail. So the bartender made Jim a vodka and blood cocktail.

Well, when Jim saw this cocktail, he was afraid to drink it. Yes, Jim saw the cocktail and he was afraid to drink it but he drank it anyway. Jim drank it and he loved it. Jim loved the vodka and blood cocktail.

Okay, time for some more questions.

Who wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar?

Jim did. Jim wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar.

And tell me this. Where did Jim want to serve Martian drinks? Did he want to serve Martian drinks at his house or his bar?

At his bar. Jim wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar. He did not want to serve Martian drinks at his house.

So tell me this now. What kind of drinks did Jim want to serve at his bar?

Martian drinks. Jim wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar.

So did Jim want to serve drinks from Mars at his bar?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim wanted to serve Martian drinks at his bar so that means he wanted to serve drinks from Mars at his bar. Martian means from Mars so drinks from Mars is the same thing as Martian drinks.

Well, where did Jim go? Tell me that. Where did Jim go?

To Mars. Jim went to the planet Mars.

Who went to Mars?

Jim did. Jim went to Mars.

And did Richard go to Mars?

No, no, Richard didn’t go to Mars, Jim did. Jim went to Mars.

Okay, but why? Why did Jim go to Mars?

Well, Jim went to Mars because he wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks.

Who wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks? Did Richard want to learn how to make Martian drinks?

No, no, Richard didn’t want to learn how to make Martian drinks.

Who wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks?

Jim did. Jim wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks.

And what did Jim want to learn how to make?

Martian drinks. Jim wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks.

So did Jim want to learn how to make drinks from Mars?

Yes, yes, he did. He wanted to learn how to make Martian drinks so that means he wanted to learn how to make drinks from Mars.

So tell me this. After Jim arrived on Mars, where did he go?

A bar. Jim went to a bar.

And who went to a bar?

Jim did. Jim went to a bar.

But tell me this. When did Jim go to a bar?

After he arrived on Mars. Jim went to a bar after he arrived on Mars.

So tell me this next. Did Jim tell the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim told the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail.

Did AJ tell the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail?

No, no, AJ did not tell the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail.

Who told the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail?

Jim did, of course. Jim told the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail.

Okay, but what did Jim tell the bartender to make him?

A Martian cocktail. Jim told the bartender to make him a Martian cocktail.

So tell me this. Did Jim tell the bartender to make him a Martian alcoholic drink?

Yes, yes, he did. He told him to make him a Martian cocktail and a cocktail is an alcoholic drink. So that means he told him to make him a Martian alcoholic drink. He told him to make him a Martian cocktail.

So did the bartender make Jim a vodka and blood cocktail?

Yes, yes, he did. He made Jim a vodka and blood cocktail.

Who made Jim a vodka and blood cocktail?

The bartender did. The bartender made Jim a vodka and blood cocktail.

And what kind of cocktail did the bartender make for Jim?

A vodka and blood cocktail. He made Jim a vodka and blood cocktail.

So tell me this. Was Jim afraid to drink the cocktail?

Yes, yes, he was. He was afraid to drink the cocktail.

Who was afraid to drink the cocktail?

Jim was. Jim was afraid to drink the cocktail.

And what was Jim afraid to do?

Well, Jim was afraid to drink the cocktail. He was afraid to drink the cocktail.

So what did Jim drink?

He drank the cocktail. Jim drank the vodka and blood cocktail.

And tell me this. What did Jim think of the cocktail?

He loved it. Jim loved the vodka and blood cocktail.

Well, Jim stayed on Mars for one week and during that week, he learned how to make Martian drinks. And after that, he went back to Earth and he opened a new bar. Well, the name of the bar was the Mars Club and Jim only served Martian drinks at his bar.

Okay, time for some more questions.

How long did Jim stay on Mars?

One week. Jim stayed on Mars for one week.

Did Richard stay on Mars for one week?

No, no, Richard didn’t stay on Mars for one week.

Who stayed on Mars for one week?

Jim did. Jim stayed on Mars for one week.

And where did Jim stay for one week? Did he stay on the moon or did he stay on Mars?

On Mars. Jim stayed on Mars for one week.

So tell me this. Did Jim learn how to make Martian drinks?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim learned how to make Martian drinks.

Who learned how to make Martian drinks?

Jim did. Jim learned how to make Martian drinks.

And what kind of drinks did Jim learn how to make?

Martian drinks. Jim learned how to make Martian drinks.

So did Jim learn how to make drinks from Mars?

Yes, yes, Jim learned how to make Martian drinks so that means Jim learned how to make drinks from Mars.

So tell me this. Who went back to Earth?

Jim did, of course. Jim went back to Earth.

And where did Jim go back to?

Earth. Jim went back to Earth.

So did Richard open a new bar?

No, no, Richard didn’t open a new bar.

Who opened a new bar?

Jim did. Jim opened a new bar.

And did Jim open a new bar or a new restaurant?

A new bar. Jim opened a new bar.

Okay, so now tell me this. What was the name of the bar?

The Mars Club. The bar was named the Mars Club.

And did Jim only serve Martian drinks at his bar?

Yes, yes, he did. Jim only served Martian drinks at his bar.

Who only served Martian drinks at his bar?

Jim did. Jim only served Martian drinks at his bar.

So did Jim serve American drinks at his bar?

No, no, Jim did not serve American drinks at his bar.

What kinds of drinks did Jim serve at his bar?

Martian drinks. Jim only served Martian drinks at his bar.

Well, Jim told his friends about his new bar and, of course, he told them about the cocktails also. And Jim’s friends thought that he was out of his mind. But when they came to the bar and they tried the cocktails, they loved them. They loved all of the cocktails that they tried.

The most popular cocktail at the bar was the whiskey and toothpaste cocktail. But Jim’s wife liked a different cocktail. Her favorite cocktail was the gin and motor oil cocktail.

Okay, time for some more questions.

Did Jim tell his friends about his new bar?

Yes, yes, he did. He told his friends about his new bar.

And who did Jim tell about his new bar?

His friends. Jim told his friends about his new bar.

What did Jim tell his friends about?

His new bar. Jim told his friends about his new bar.

So tell me this. Did Jim’s friends think that Jim was out of his mind?

They did, yes. Jim’s friends thought that Jim was out of his mind.

Who thought that Jim was out of his mind?

Jim’s friends did. Jim’s friends thought that Jim was out of his mind.

So tell me this. Did Jim’s friends think that Jim was crazy?

Yes, yes, they did. They thought that Jim was out of his mind so that means they thought that Jim was crazy.

So did Jim’s friends love the cocktails at his bar?

Yes, yes, they did. They loved the cocktails at his bar.

Tell me this though. What was the most popular cocktail at Jim’s bar? Was it the vodka and blood cocktail or was it the whiskey and toothpaste cocktail?

The whiskey and toothpaste cocktail. The most popular cocktail at Jim’s bar was the whiskey and toothpaste cocktail.

So tell me this though. Whose favorite cocktail was the gin and motor oil cocktail? Was it Jim’s favorite cocktail?

No, no, it wasn’t Jim’s favorite cocktail.

Whose favorite cocktail was the gin and motor oil cocktail?

Jim’s wife. Jim’s wife’s favorite cocktail was the gin and motor oil cocktail.

Well, I have some more information for you. One year after it opened, the Mars Club was a very successful bar. So Jim wanted to call Richard to tell him that his bar did not go under in less than one year.

But unfortunately, Jim was unable to call Richard because Richard’s bar went under. Yes, that’s right. Richard’s bar went under because Richard did not pay the bar’s taxes. He didn’t pay the bar’s taxes because he was a crooked businessman.

Okay, well that’s the end of our story and I hope you enjoyed this story because now it’s your turn to tell the story. I want you to tell the story to someone who you know. It can be anyone who you know.

But when you tell this story, I want you to use all of the words and phrases that I taught you at the beginning of this lesson. And I want you to listen to this lesson every day for at least 7 days. I want you to do this because I want you to learn the material deeply.

Okay, well that’s all for this mini-story lesson then. I’ll see you next time.