درسنامه واژه ها

Breakups – Vocabulary Lesson

Hi, this is Kristin Dodds, one of the teachers and directors of Learn Real English. And welcome to this month’s vocabulary lesson for the conversation Breakups. As usual, I have the text here of the conversation so I’ve made some notes about some words or phrases, phrases are groups of words, that maybe you had some difficulty understanding.

And I will go through and explain the ones that I’ve chosen as they relate to this conversation. So they could have a different meaning in another conversation, but I will give you the meaning for this conversation Breakups.

In this conversation, I always say this, you’ll see the word “yeah” used a lot. Yeah is slang, it’s a slang word for yes. And you’ll also see two words put together, “y’know” which is y’know. Y’know is actually the two words, you and know, put together and they’re put together because when we speak a lot of times we say, instead of saying you know, we’re speaking quickly, native English speakers, and we’ll just say y’know. It’s faster. It’s easier to say. Let’s begin.

Let me explain, first off, the title of this conversation, Breakups. So breakups are when two people end their romantic relationship.

Alright, at the very beginning of the conversation, Joe says, “I just got off the phone with Aaron.” So Aaron: this is the name of a friend of ours.

And then Joe says, “He’s not coming over for dinner tonight, first off.” So first off: what Joe is saying here is this is the first thing I want to say. First off, the first thing I want to say is he’s not coming over for dinner tonight.

And then Joe says, “Man, he is really down in the dumps.” So when he says man, first of all, this is slang because he’s not…he’s not talking about man as in a person. It’s slang, it’s kind of a filler word, it’s not really needed, but you could replace man with let me…let me tell you. Let me tell you, he’s really down in the dumps. Let me explain down in the dumps. So when Joe says he’s down in the dumps, what he’s saying is he’s not doing well emotionally.

Okay, then Joe says, “I mean I feel terrible for him.” So when he says I mean, he’s saying what I’m trying to say is I feel terrible for him.

Then Joe says, “I’ve been there before.” So when he says that whole thing, I’ve been there before, he’s saying I understand how he’s feeling. I understand from my own experience how he’s feeling.

And then Joe says, “I know what it’s like when you’re going through a breakup.” So when he says I know what it’s like, he’s saying I know how it feels. I know how it feels.

And then Joe says, “It’s a little weird.” So weird here is…weird means strange.

And then Joe says, “He’s the one who initiated this breakup.” So initiated means started the process. He’s the one who started the process of the breakup. He initiated the breakup.

And then AJ says, “They’re both tough in their own way.” Tough means difficult. Here it means difficult. Tough means difficult.

And then AJ says, “Especially if you’re like just, y’know, a decent nice person.” Like means…like doesn’t have a meaning. It’s just a filler word. It’s not needed in this part of the sentence. And decent: a decent nice person, decent means reasonable.

And then I say, “And she’s just devastated by this.” So devastated means shocked and really upset.

Then AJ says, “It is on both sides.” So what he means by that is it is difficult for both people.

And then AJ says, “It’s always this, y’know, horrible struggle beforehand.” So struggle: this is a situation of opposite feelings. And beforehand here means before ending the relationship.

And then AJ says, “You’re conflicted because you care about them.” So conflicted here means you have the opposite feeling. You have the opposite feeling because you care about them.

And then AJ says, “And maybe there’s all this guilt.” So when he says maybe there’s all this guilt, what he’s saying is guilt at feeling worried about the breakup because you’re concerned about the other person.

And then AJ says, “So that can be really hard.” Hard here means difficult.

And then Joe says, “Yeah, I mean Sally is devastated.” So Sally is the name of Aaron’s girlfriend, or actually fiancé because they were engaged to be married, or they were going to be getting married. And she’s also become a friend of ours because we’ve gotten to know her through Aaron.

And then Joe says, “They were supposed to get married like in a couple of months.” So like here is a filler word. It’s not needed.

And then Joe says, “He just said I don’t want to go through with it.” So I don’t want to go through with it, what our friend Aaron was saying is I don’t want to marry her.

Then Joe says, “Those marriages ended poorly.” So poorly means badly.

Then Joe says, “That’s why he has cold feet.” So cold feet this means to get nervous and change your plans. It’s used a lot of times when someone’s going to get married if they, at the last minute decide they don’t want to get married we say they get cold feet.

Then Joe says, “Like just hearing how down he is.” Like here is a filler word. It’s not needed. And when Joe says hearing how down he is, when he says…when he’s talking about down, our friend Aaron being down, he’s saying how upset he is.

Next Joe says, “It’s one of the worst things to try and get over.” So to try and get over, what Joe is saying is to move forward in life from…from this situation.

And then Joe says, “Some people have, y’know, depression that’s, y’know, long and, y’know, clinically diagnosed.” So you can see that we like to say y’know a lot, as well as like. But depression: so depression, if someone has depression it means they’re very, very sad, very sad. And they could be in bed for days they’re so sad. It’s difficult for them to do their daily tasks or, y’know, like going to work or whatever, school, studying. And when Joe says some people have, y’know, depression that’s, y’know, long, when he says long he means it lasts a long time. The depression lasts a long time. And clinically diagnosed, when Joe says it’s clinically diagnosed, clinically diagnosed means a decision made about an illness based on a person’s symptoms.

Then I say, “I was going to see him when I was just in Georgia.” So Georgia is a state in the southeastern part of the United States and it’s where I grew up.

And then I say, “He’s actually married and going through a divorce.” So going through a divorce: this means his marriage is ending.

And then I say, “At first there was the sadness and the disbelief.” So disbelief, this is not able to accept that something is real.

Next I say, “Now he’s in this anger phase.” So a phase is a period of time.

And then AJ says, “In psychology there are those stages of grief.” So psychology: this is the study of human behavior. And stages: stages are levels. And grief: grief is deep, deep sorrow caused by someone’s death, it’s caused by someone dying.

And then AJ says, “Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote a book about death and dying.” So Elisabeth Kubler Ross, she was an American woman and she was one of the first people to study near death experiences. So she was one of the first people to study people who almost died, y’know, they…yeah, they almost died but they didn’t. So it’s…she has some really interesting studies about some of these people and their experiences that they went through when this happened.

Then AJ says, “I think one’s called bargaining.” So bargaining here means trying to reach an agreement.

And then AJ says, “Like, where you’re trying to…in your mind you’re trying to sort of kid yourself.” So like here means such as. Such as where you’re trying to…in your mind you’re trying to sort of kid yourself. And when he says you’re trying to sort of kid yourself what he’s saying is you’re trying to fool or trick yourself.

And then AJ says, “Like, oh, maybe if I do this it’ll work out actually.” Like here is a filler word. It’s not needed.

Then AJ says, “It’s sort of this denial phase, too.” So denial means refusing to believe that something is true.

And then I say, “It’s actually increasing in other countries like Europe.” So when I say it’s increasing I’m saying more divorces are occurring.”

And then I say, “I used to think it was predominantly here that we had such a high divorce rate.” So predominantly means mostly. And when I say such a high divorce rate, I’m saying such a large number of divorces.

Then Joe says, “Arranged marriages end in separation or divorce far less often.” So arranged marriages: this is where the parents choose who their children will marry and I know that this happens, that this is very common in India. I don’t know…I don’t know where in other countries but it’s definitely still common in India.

And then Joe says, “And it sounds kind of strange in a sense, right?” So he’s saying it sounds kind of strange because they’re not marrying for love. Their parents are arranging for them to get married, having them get married.

And then Joe says, “In many cases, at least, not some, these people are only meeting each other for the first or second time.” So when he says in many cases he’s saying in many situations.

And then Joe says, “You’d almost think that a marriage of that kind wouldn’t be as sustaining.” So wouldn’t be as sustaining, what he’s saying is it wouldn’t last a long time.

Then AJ says, “I would imagine it’s because those cultures that have the arranged marriages, they’re just more social pressure.” So imagine, when AJ says I would imagine he’s saying I would think.

And then AJ says, “I have to look it up.” So what he’s talking about here, look it up, I’m thinking he’s talking about going to the internet to find out more information about it.

And then AJ says, “I’m guessing that the divorce rate is rising in India, too.” So the divorce rate is rising, meaning more divorces are happening.

Then AJ says, “But that was super devastating.” So super here means very. It was very devastating. It was super devastating.

And then AJ says, “I think the first one tends to be the most devastating.” So when he says I think the first one tends to be he’s saying I think the first relationship is usually the most devastating.

And then AJ says, “Because it’s, oh, my first love and I’ll never survive this.” So survive means make it through. I’ll never make it through this.

And then I say, “And like I’ve been telling my friend Tom, y’know, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.” So like at the beginning of this sentence is a filler word. It’s not needed. And when I say there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, what I’m saying is I’m telling my friend that something…I’m telling him that something good will eventually come from this difficult situation.

And then I say, “He’s really trying to figure out what he can learn from this.” So figure out here means to think about what he can learn from this.

And then I say, “So that he doesn’t go into his next relationship with the same baggage.” So baggage here means problems.

And then AJ says, “Like I’m so happy that that first relationship ended.” Like in this sentence means for example. Like, we use like a lot, it has a lot of different meanings. That’s why I like to point out each time like is used.

Then AJ says, “Instead of blaming her.” So instead of blaming her, instead of thinking it was all her fault, that she’s the one who did everything wrong in the relationship.

And then AJ says, “And that had a very positive outcome.” Outcome means result.

And then Joe says, “But sometimes after the relationship is over.” Over here means finished. It’s done. It’s finished. It’s over.

And then Joe says, “And if you grow from those things.” Grow means to move forward in life, in a positive way.

Next Joe says, “If you improve yourself.” Improve means better. If you better yourself. If you improve yourself.

And that is it for this vocabulary lesson for the conversation Breakups and I’ll be back in a few minutes with the commentary.