انتقام کوتوله های حیاط فصل 07

Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes - Chapter 7

Mindy came racing across the yard.

She leaped over the flamingos and sprinted around the deer.

“Hurry!” I moaned, stretching my left arm out toward her. “He’s hurting me!”

But as my sister came near, her face twisted in fright, I couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. I burst out laughing.

“Gotcha! Gotcha!” I shrieked. I danced away from the plaster gnome.

Mindy swung around to slug me. Swung and missed.

“Did you really believe that gnome grabbed me?” I cried. “Are you totally losing it?” She didn’t have time to reply. Dad came jogging down the pink porch steps. “Time to bring our little guys home,” he announced, grinning.

He stopped and stared down happily at the ugly gnomes. “But let’s name them first.” Dad names all of our lawn ornaments.

Mindy let out a loud groan. Dad ignored her.

He patted one of the gnomes on the head. “Let’s call this one Hap. Because he looks so happy! I’ll carry Hap. You kids take…” He stopped and squinted at the other gnome. There was a small chip on the gnome’s front tooth. “Chip. Yep, we’ll call this one Chip.” Dad hoisted Hap into his arms. “Whoaaa. He’s an armful!” He made his way toward the driveway, staggering under the gnome’s weight.

Mindy studied Chip. “You take the feet. I’ll grab the top,” she ordered. “Come on. One, two, three… lift!” I stooped down and grabbed the gnome by its legs. Its heavy red boot scraped my arm. I let out a cry.

“Quit complaining,” Mindy ordered. “At least you don’t have this stupid pointy hat sticking in your face.” We struggled down the hill, following Dad.

Mindy and I inched forward, struggling side by side. “Everyone in the neighborhood is gawking at us,” Mindy moaned.

They were. Two girls from Mindy’s school, wheeling their bikes up the hill, stopped and stared. Then they burst out laughing.

Mindy’s pale face grew as red as one of Dad’s tomatoes. “I’ll never live this down,” she grumbled. “Come on, Joe. Walk faster.” I jiggled Chip’s legs to make Mindy lose her grip. But the only thing she lost was her temper. “Quit it, Joe,” she snapped. “And hold your end up higher.” As we neared our house, Mr. McCall spotted us trudging up the block. He stopped pruning his shrubs to admire our little parade.

“More lawn ornaments, Jeffrey?” he called out to Dad. I could hear him chuckling.

Mr. McCall is mean to Mindy and me. But he and Dad get along fine. They’re always kidding each other about their gardens.

Mrs. McCall poked her head out the front door. “Cute!” she called out, smiling at us from under her white baseball cap. “Come on in, Bill. Your brother is on the phone.” Mr. McCall set his pruning sheers down and went inside.

We lugged Chip past the McCall driveway and followed Dad into our front yard.

“Over here!” Dad instructed as he set Hap down in the far corner of the yard. Next to Deer-lilah. Deer-lilah is the deer. Dad named her after Lilah from Lawn Lovely.

With our last bit of strength, we dragged Chip over to Dad. These gnomes were heavy. They weighed a lot more than our other ornaments.

Mindy and I plopped the gnome down on the grass and collapsed in the dirt next to him.

Whistling happily, Dad set Chip on one side of the deer. And Hap on the other.

He stepped back to study them. “What cheerful little guys!” he declared. “I’ve got to show your mom. She won’t be able to resist them! They’re too cute to hate!” He hurried across the lawn and into the house.

“Yo!” I heard a familiar cry from next door. Moose jogged across his driveway. “I hear you have some ugly new lawn things.” He charged up to the gnomes and stared. “Way ugly,” he boomed.

Moose leaned down and stuck his tongue out at Hap. “You want to fight, shrimp?” he asked the little statue. “Take that!” He pretended to punch Hap in his chubby chest.

“Wreck the runt!” I cried.

Moose grabbed the gnome around his waist and gave him a dozen quick punches.

I scrambled to my feet. “I’ll wipe that ugly grin off your face!” I yelled at Chip. I closed my hands around the gnome’s neck and pretended to choke him.

“Watch this!” Moose shot out a thick leg and karate-kicked Hap in his small pointy hat. The squat figure wobbled.

“Careful! Stop messing around!” Mindy warned. “You’re going to break them.”

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s tickle them!”

“Tickle, tickle!” Moose squeaked as he tickled Hap under the armpits.

“You’re a riot, Moose,” Mindy declared. “A real—”

Moose and I waited for Mindy to finish insulting us. But instead, she pointed to the McCalls’ garden and screamed, “Oh, no! Buster!” Moose and I spun around and spied Buster. In the middle of Mr. McCall’s garden, pawing away at the green stalks.

“Buster! No!” I screamed.

I grabbed the dog whistle and raised it to my mouth. But before I could blow, Mr. McCall exploded out of his front door!

“That stupid mutt again!” he shouted, waving his arms wildly. “Get out of here! Shoo!” Buster whimpered, turned, and trotted back to our yard, head down, stumpy tail between his legs.

Uh-oh, I thought, studying Mr. McCall’s angry face. We’re in for trouble now.

But before Mr. McCall could start lecturing us, Dad pushed the front door open. “Kids, your mother says that dinner is almost ready.” “Jeffrey, are you deliberately sending that mutt over to ruin my melons?” Mr. McCall called.

Dad grinned. “Buster can’t help it,” he replied. “He keeps mistaking your melons for golf balls!” “Are those tomatoes you’re growing?” Moose’s dad shot back. “Or are they olives?” “Didn’t you see the tomato I rolled into the house yesterday?” Dad replied. “I had to use a wheelbarrow!” Buster danced around the yard. I think somehow he knew he had escaped big trouble.

We started for the house. But I stopped when I heard a heavy thud.

I whirled around to discover Hap lying face down in the grass.

Buster busily licked his face.

“Bad dog,” Dad scolded. I don’t think Dad likes Buster any more than Mr. McCall does. “Did you knock that gnome over? Get away from there!” “Buster—come here, boy!” I called. But he ignored me and licked at the face more furiously than ever.

I brought my dog whistle to my lips and gave one quick short blow. Buster raised his head, alert to the sound. He forgot about the plaster gnome and trotted over to me.

“Joe, pick Hap up, will you?” Dad demanded, annoyed.

Mindy held onto Buster. I grabbed the gnome by his shoulders and slowly heaved him to his feet. Then I checked for damage.

Legs. Arms. Neck. Everything seemed okay.

I raised my eyes to Hap’s face.

And jumped back in surprise.

I blinked a few times. And stared at the gnome again.

“I—I don’t believe it!” I murmured.