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Long Distance Relationships

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 221, “Long Distance Relationships.”

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 221. I am your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan. I am coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Remember to visit our website at eslpod.com and look at the Learning Guide for this episode. It’s a 10-page guide to the podcast that gives you the complete transcript, all the vocabulary, additional vocabulary, cultural notes and a free trip to Hawaii. Okay, well, everything except the free trip to Hawaii, I promise!

Today’s podcast is called “Long Distance Relationships.” Sounds like fun, let’s go!

[Start of story]

I met Diana last year when we were both working in New York City for the summer. I’m finishing college in California and Diana started her first job in Florida. Talk about a bicoastal relationship! We spent three great months together and we’ve been trying to maintain a long distance relationship ever since. It’s been really hard and I had a talk about it with my friend, Emily, who just got out of a relationship like this.

Enrique: I’m always worried that for her, it’s out of sight, out of mind.

Emily: I know what you mean, but is it that way with you?

Enrique: No, not at all. I think about her all the time. It’s not that there aren’t temptations, but I’m committed to Diana.

Emily: Don’t you get the same vibe from her?

Enrique: Sometimes I do, but a lot of times I don’t. It’s so easy to get into a fight on the phone. We have misunderstandings all the time or I hurt her feelings without realizing it. And plus, I’m still in school and she’s already out working, and it seems like we’re growing apart.

Emily: That’s what happened with Theo and me. We grew apart and we had less and less in common. After a year, we called it quits.

Enrique: I hope that’s not what Diana wants. I’ve got to have it out with her. If she wants to end this, then I’ll just have to deal with it.

Emily: It’s always better to know where you stand. Let me know how it goes.

Enrique: Sure. See you later.

[End of story]

The topic for this podcast is long distance relationships.

A relationship is normally when a man and a woman are romantically interested in each other. It could be that they are dating, they are not married or it could be that they are married.

This relationship in our story today is a long distance one, meaning that the two people do not live close to each other. Sometimes we use this expression if we are talking about people who live in different cities or even different countries.

Long distance is a term we also use when we are making telephone calls. If you are calling somewhere outside of the city where you live, we say that is a long distance call, and it costs more money.

Well, this is a long distance relationship between Enrique and Emily. Enrique and Emily met in New York City. They were working there during this summer, probably working as interns, “interns.” An intern is someone who works for a company for a short time to get experience.

It turns out that Enrique is going back to California to finish his college and Diana is starting her first job in different state, in Florida, which is on the other side of the country. It is what we would call a bicoastal relationship, “bicoastal.” Bicoastal comes from the word “coast,” which is the part of a country or the part of the land that is next to the ocean. United States, we have two coasts; we have the West Coast, where the Pacific Ocean is, and the East Coast, where the Atlantic Ocean is. A bicoastal relationship means two coasts. “Bi,” bi, as a prefix in English, usually means two. So, you have a bicycle; that is a machine with two wheels.

This is a bicoastal relationship - a long distance relationship, and Enrique is having some problems. Ah, don’t we all? He talks to his friend, Emily. Emily just got out of a relationship like this. In other words, Emily was in a long distance relationship and now she is out of the relationship. To get out of a relationship means to end a relationship - to stop it. So, Emily has got out of this long distance relationship with her boyfriend and she is now going to give advice to Enrique.

Enrique starts by saying, “I’m worried about my girlfriend Diana, in Florida. I’m worried that for her, it’s out of sight, out of mind.” That is an expression we use, out of sight, “sight,” out of mind, “mind,” to mean that you don’t think about things that are not to close to you - that you cannot see. “Sight” means the same here as to be able to see, or something that you see. So, if you can’t see it, you don’t think about it - you forget about it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Emily says that she understands what Enrique is talking about, and asks if he feels the same way, that is if it’s out of sight, out of mind for him, too. Does he forget about Diana because she is not near him? And, Enrique says, “not at all.

I think about her all the time.” You think? I kind of wonder about Enrique, I don’t think he’s thinking about her. But, well, we’ll go with the story here - continue with the story.

Enrique says, “It’s not that there aren’t temptations, but I’m committed to Diana.” The expression, “it’s not that,” is one we use to introduce something that isn’t true, but we want to compare it to something that is true. So, Enrique says, “it’s not true that I don’t have temptations.” Temptations, “temptations,” are things that cause you to do something that you may not want to do, that your brain says is a bad idea, but perhaps your heart, or some other part of your body thinks is a good idea. These would be temptations.

The verb is to tempt, “temp,” to try to get someone to do something that they should not do. The world is, of course, full of temptations, that’s why I never get another woman, only my wife!

Enrique says he’s “committed to Diana.” To be committed, “committed,” means that he is going to stay with Diana. He wants to be in this relationship; he’s dedicated to her. Committed can have other meanings as well, and in the Learning Guide we talk about some additional uses of that verb, committed or to commit. We also talk about that expression we used earlier, “get out of,” there are some additional meanings, which you can find in our Learning Guide.

Well, continuing with the story, Emily says do “you get the same vibe from her?” In other words, does she communicate the same idea, that she is committed to you? The word vibe, “vibe,” means the same feeling - the same impression - the same idea. It’s the way someone acts towards you, not necessarily what they say.

Enrique says, “Sometimes I do, but sometimes I don’t,” meaning “Sometimes I think Diana is committed and sometimes I don’t.” He says, “It’s easy to get into a fight” when you’re talking “on the phone. We have misunderstandings all the time.” A misunderstanding is when people do not understand each other. Here, mis, “mis,” at the beginning of the word means not.

Enrique says sometimes he hurts his girlfriend’s “feelings without realizing,” or without knowing. To hurt, “hurt,” someone’s feelings means to make them feel bad - to make them sad, for example. If you say something that is not very nice about someone, you could hurt their feelings.

Enrique is afraid that he and Diana are “growing apart.” To “grow apart” means that as you get older, you aren’t as close to another person as you were when you were younger. Enrique is afraid that because Diana is in another state far away, as time goes by, as each month goes by that they are growing apart.

Emily says that this is situation that happened to her and her boyfriend, Theo.

She says that “We grew apart and had less in common,” meaning they had fewer things that they could talk about or share with each other. “After a year,” Emily says, “we called it quits.” To call something quits, “quits,” means to end something - to end something, to stop something.

Enrique says he hopes that doesn’t happen to him and Diana. Of course, it will, but you know, Enrique’s trying to see the positive side of things. He says that he is going “to have it out with” his girlfriend. “To have it out” means that you are going to have an argument, perhaps, but you speak very honestly with the other person.

Enrique says that if Diana wants to end, or stop the relationship, he’ll “have to deal with it.” This is a very common expression. To deal, “deal,” with something means that you have to adjust to it - you have to make the best situation possible. “To deal with,” means to have to live with and to understand or figure out how to survive - how to continue. Emily says, “It’s always better to know where you stand.” “To know where you stand,” in this case, means to know what your situation is, to understand the other person’s opinion and to know the situation or condition of your relationship.

If you are in a long distance relationship, make sure you see the Learning Guide today. It has some advice for those of you who are in a long distance relationship.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a native rate of speech.

[Start of story]

I met Diana last year when we were both working in New York City for the summer. I’m finishing college in California and Diana started her first job in Florida. Talk about a bicoastal relationship! We spent three great months together and we’ve been trying to maintain a long distance relationship ever since. It’s been really hard and I had a talk about it with my friend, Emily, who just got out of a relationship like this.

Enrique: I’m always worried that for her, it’s out of sight, out of mind.

Emily: I know what you mean, but is it that way with you?

Enrique: No, not at all. I think about her all the time. It’s not that there aren’t temptations, but I’m committed to Diana.

Emily: Don’t you get the same vibe from her?

Enrique: Sometimes I do, but a lot of times I don’t. It’s so easy to get into a fight on the phone. We have misunderstandings all the time or I hurt her feelings without realizing it. And plus, I’m still in school and she’s already out working, and it seems like we’re growing apart.

Emily: That’s what happened with Theo and me. We grew apart and we had less and less in common. After a year, we called it quits.

Enrique: I hope that’s not what Diana wants. I’ve got to have it out with her. If she wants to end this, then I’ll just have to deal with it.

Emily: It’s always better to know where you stand. Let me know how it goes.

Enrique: Sure. See you later.

[End of story]

The script for today’s podcast was by Dr. Lucy Tse. Remember to email us if you have a comment or question about our podcast. Our email address is eslpod@eslpod.com.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thanks for listening. We will see you next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. This podcast is copyright 2006.