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Characteristics of an Ideal Mate

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 245: Characteristics of an Ideal Mate.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast number 245. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

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The topic of this episode is “Characteristics of an Ideal” - or perfect - “Mate.” A mate, “mate,” is someone that you are boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife with. We’re going to listen to a conversation between two people talking about what they would look for in the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. Let’s get started.

[start of story]

I’ve been trying to set up my good friend, Rachid, with one of my single girlfriends, but I still wasn’t too sure what his type would be.

Tamara: So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman.

Rachid: She has to be rich and hot!

Tamara: Come on! Be serious.

Rachid: Okay, okay, but I don’t know why married people are always trying to get their single friends married off. Is it because misery loves company?

Tamara: Stop being a smart aleck and answer the question.

Rachid: All right. I’m being serious now. What do I look for in a woman? I’d like someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who is kind-hearted and easy to talk to, and is supportive of me.

Tamara: What about vital statistics? Age, physical type?

Rachid: She has to be pretty, but I’m not too picky about whether she’s a blond, brunette, or redhead. She should be my height or shorter, and around my age or a few years younger or older.

Tamara: That helps a little to narrow down who may be a good match for you.

Any deal killers?

Rachid: I don’t like women who are too chatty or who are too bossy. Otherwise, I have a pretty open mind when it comes to women.

Tamara: Okay, I can think of at least a couple of friends who may be willing to put up with you.

Rachid: Put up with me? Are you kidding? I’m a catch!

Tamara: Oh, geez. Finding somebody for you is going to be harder than I thought!

[end of story]

We listened to a dialogue between two people talking about their ideal, “ideal,” or perfect mate - person they would want to have as their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.

The dialogue begins by Tamara saying that she’s “been trying to set up” her “good friend, Rachid, with one of” her “single girlfriends.” To set someone up means, in this dialogue, to help two people meet so they can begin, perhaps, dating each other. If you think two people may like each other, you may try to set them up - try to arrange a meeting between them so they can have a chance to talk and to get to know each other. To set up someone, or to set someone up either way is correct - has a couple of different meanings, and you want to take a look at our Learning Guide today for those additional definitions.

So, Tamara is trying to set up her friend - her male friend - Rachid, but she wasn’t sure what Rachid’s type was. When we say that “She’s my type,” or “He’s not my type,” “type,” we mean the ideal characteristics - the personality, the physical appearance that you are looking for in a person with whom you want a romantic relationship. So, some people like tall men or women; some people like short men or women; some people brown hair; some people like blond hair; some people - well, not very many people - like bald men. That’s too bad for me!

Well, Rachid is going to describe to Tamara what his type is - what he likes in a woman. So, Tamara begins by saying, “So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman” - how would you describe the perfect woman for you.

Rachid is a very typical man, he says, “She has to rich and hot!” To be rich, you know, means to have a lot of money. So, he wants a woman - a girl - with a lot of money, and she has to be hot, “hot.” When you use the word hot to describe a person, you mean they are very attractive - they’re very sexy - they’re very good looking. I have never been described as being hot!

But Rachid is looking for a woman who is hot, and Tamara says, “Come on! Be serious.” Rachid is kind of joking here, since that’s the answer that every man would say - he wants his girlfriend to be rich and attractive. Tamara uses the expression “Come on,” meaning stop doing that - stop saying that, “Be serious” tell me what you really think.

Rachid then says, “Well, that is what I really think” - no! He says, “Okay, okay, but I don’t know why married people are always trying to get their single friends married off.” Tamara is married; Rachid is single. To marry someone off means to get them to be married - to get them married. “Is it because misery loves company?” Is it because people who are unhappy like to be with other people who are unhappy, assuming that married couples are unhappy.

Tamara says, “Stop being a smart aleck and answer the question.” A smart, “smart,” aleck, “aleck,” is someone who does not give serious answers - tries to always be funny - tries to be - give funny answers. I have been described as a smart aleck, for example.

Rachid says, “All right. I’m being serous now. What do I look for in a woman?

I’d like someone who has a good sense of humor.” To have a good sense, “sense,” of humor means that you can make other people laugh and enjoy laughing and telling jokes. Recognizing the funny things in life; that’s to have a good sense of humor.

Rachid also wants a woman “who is kind-hearted and easy to talk to.” To be kind-hearted, “kind-hearted,” means to be nice - to be kind - to be generous. To have a kind heart means to be a nice person. He also wants a woman who is “easy to talk to,” someone he can have conversations with - someone who will talk to him and interested in talking to him, someone he is comfortable speaking with. He also says that he wants a woman who “is supportive of” him. To be supportive, “supportive,” means to give help - to give advice, or to be willing to help someone, and that’s what Rachid wants in his future wife.

Tamara says, “What about vital statistics? Age, physical type?” The expression vital, “vital,” statistics is a word we - or expression we normally use to describe someone’s physical appearance - how old they are, their height, their weight, their hair color. The expression means something a little different in a hospital.

When the doctors want to know the vitals - or the vital statistics - they’re usually looking for things like the heartbeat and the pulse - other indications of how the body is doing. But here it means the physical appearance of the person.

Rachid says that “She has to be pretty, but I’m not too picky about whether she’s a blond, brunette, or redhead.” A blond is a woman, of course, with yellow, light hair; a brunette has dark hair, and a redhead has red hair. My niece is a redhead, for example. She’s not married, so if you are between the ages of 18 and 25, email me and I’ll - I’ll set you up if your type is redheads!

Rachid says he’s not picky, “picky.” To be picky means to be very difficult to please - somebody who only wants a very specific type and doesn’t like anything else. A person who is picky might, for example, only like certain kinds of food.

It’s usually a negative adjective to describe someone as picky.

Rachid says that “She should be my height or shorter, and around my age or a few years younger or older.” So, he doesn’t want anyone who’s 20 years older, and he wants someone who’s more or less his height or a little shorter than him.

Tamara says, “That helps a little to narrow down who may be a good match for you.” To narrow, “narrow,” down something (two words) means to go from a large number of choices to a very small number. To narrow down means to eliminate some options - some choices - so that you can focus or concentrate on a smaller number. “We need to narrow down the number of people we are going to interview for this job.” You may have 100 people who want the job - who apply for the job - but you can only interview 10, so you have to narrow down the list of people to 10 people.

Tamara says that Rachid’s description helps “narrow down who may be a good match for” him - who would be a good person for him. Then she asks him, “Any deal killers?” A deal, “deal,” killer, “killer,” is something that would make someone decide not to do something - not to accept something. So, Tamara’s asking if there’s anything that he absolutely would not want in his ideal mate.

That would be something that would be something that would make him say no “a deal killer.” A deal is an arrangement and an agreement, usually. You don’t often hear that expression in talking about people, but about business deals, for example. But Tamara, here, is using it to describe the potential negative characteristics that would make Rachid say no.

Rachid says, “I don’t like women who are too chatty or who are too bossy.” To be chatty, “chatty,” means to talk a lot. You may have seen on the Internet chat rooms, “chat,” these are places where you talk. So, chat is just another word for talking. Chatty is somebody who talks a lot. Bossy, “bossy,” is someone who likes to tell other people what to do - likes to give orders. So, Rachid doesn’t want a woman who’s chatty or bossy. I’m with Rachid!

Rachid also says, “I have a pretty open mind when it comes to women.” To have an open mind, “open,” open - I know I sometimes pronounce that “ompen,” with an “m” in there, that’s my Minnesota dialect - to have an open mind means to be willing to consider many different things - to be flexible - to be the opposite of picky.

Tamara says, “Okay, I can think of at least a couple of friends who may be willing to put up with you.” To put up with someone means to tolerate - to be able to be with someone even though they are difficult to be with. Tamara, here, is joking with Rachid.

Rachid says, “Put up with me? Are you kidding” - are you joking? “I’m a catch,” “catch.” To say someone is a catch means that they are a person who is very desirable, that many people would want to marry or, in the case of an employee, that a company would want to hire. Normally it’s used in talking about someone who would be good to marry. If you say, “I’m a catch,” you’re saying lots of people would want to marry me because I am so good. So, Rachid is not very humble! He thinks very highly of himself; he has a high opinion of himself.

Tamara says, “Oh, geez,” meaning ugh! It’s an expression to mean that you dislike what the other person said. “Finding somebody for you is going to be harder than I thought,” she says.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a native rate of speech

[start of story]

I’ve been trying to set up my good friend, Rachid, with one of my single girlfriends, but I still wasn’t too sure what his type would be.

Tamara: So, tell me what you’re looking for in a woman.

Rachid: She has to be rich and hot!

Tamara: Come on! Be serious.

Rachid: Okay, okay, but I don’t know why married people are always trying to get their single friends married off. Is it because misery loves company?

Tamara: Stop being a smart aleck and answer the question.

Rachid: All right. I’m being serious now. What do I look for in a woman? I’d like someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who is kind-hearted and easy to talk to, and is supportive of me.

Tamara: What about vital statistics? Age, physical type?

Rachid: She has to be pretty, but I’m not too picky about whether she’s a blond, brunette, or redhead. She should be my height or shorter, and around my age or a few years younger or older.

Tamara: That helps a little to narrow down who may be a good match for you.

Any deal killers?

Rachid: I don’t like women who are too chatty or who are too bossy. Otherwise, I have a pretty open mind when it comes to women.

Tamara: Okay, I can think of at least a couple of friends who may be willing to put up with you.

Rachid: Put up with me? Are you kidding? I’m a catch!

Tamara: Oh, geez. Finding somebody for you is going to be harder than I thought!

[end of story]

The script for today’s podcast was written by Dr. Lucy Tse.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. This podcast is copyright 2007.