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Hello everyone and welcome to EnglishPod. My name is Marco

my name is Catherine and today we have a sad lesson for you. This is an intermediate level lesson about what happens when a friend or family member dies.

Exactly. So, we have a lot of words that are related to all the preparations for when somebody dies. And also, some phrases that you can say to someone that maybe had a family member who recently passed away. So, before we get into all of this, we have a keyword that we want to take a look at now in vocabulary preview.

Vocabulary preview

All right. So, in vocabulary preview we have that one word and it’s the title of our lesson also, funeral.

Funeral, so funeral is an event. It’s something that we have. So basically, a funeral is the time when we mourn someone who has died. It’s a celebration of their life.

Right. So, it’s kind of like a ceremony where you respect that person that passed away, right? Some people will talk about the person that passed away. Or maybe you know it’s time to maybe honor the person, too. As you said, mourn and remember that person.

Right. So, it’s very common for people in different religions to have different traditions. In some religions, like I think in Christianity you have a priest who will say some things that are very traditional and say some things about the person who died. Another religions have different ceremonies.

right

so, today we’re going to take a look at what happens in preparing a funeral.

A: Hi Daniel, how are you holding up? I am greatly sorry for your loss.

B: Thank you, I’m doing much better. I’ve begun organizing everything for the funeral.

A: How’s that going ?

B: It’s a lot harder than I imagined. There are many things that you have to to arrange. I booked a time and date with the funeral home, but I still have a lot of things to do.

A: Have you bought a burial plot and a casket?

B: No. Wendy is being cremated. She always talked about how she didn’t want to be buried. I already chose a cremation urn and we plan to spread the ashes in the ocean.

A: I see, that sounds like something she would have really liked. I am sure the memorial service will be tasteful. You are doing a great job.

B: Thanks, it hasn’t been easy, but luckily we have life insurance and Wendy left behind a detailed will that will sort out any other legal matters.

All right, we’re back. So, a pretty interesting dialogue and I’m sure you have a lot of questions regarding some of those words and phrases that you heard. So, why don’t we take a look at five key words on language take away

Language take away

So basically, we have two friends in this dialogue who were discussing arrangements for a funeral and one friend is asking the other about his preparations and asks if he’s bought a burial plot.

Okay, burial plot. Now what is a burial plot and why would you buy one?

Well, a plot, PLOT, plot is a piece of land. So, you can think about this logically. A burial plot, burial, to bury is a place, a space in the ground where we bury a person.

Usually, you buy one of these at a cemetery, right?

That’s right. So, cemeteries have some, usually a lot of land and you can pay for a piece of land.

A small portion

A portion, yeah. And that’s a burial plot.

Okay, good. And well, our next word is related to what you put into this burial plot, right? Somebody dies and what goes into this piece of land is a casket.

That’s right. And I don’t know if any of you are fans of the TV show 6 feet under, but you’ll know from this TV show that there are many different kinds of caskets.

Right

So, a casket is a box. You can have fancy casket or you can have wooden caskets that are very simple, like pine. And basically this is the box that the person’s body will go into when they’re buried.

Right, very good. So, that is called a casket. Well, moving on a new trend I would say, in many countries and many people around the world, don’t wanna be buried. So, what happens, you get cremated.

cremated. So, this is the option for people who are not buried. In some countries China, for example, I don’t think you can be buried. You have to be cremated because there’s an issue of space

right

and this is an option for most people were basically your friend or your loved one, their body is burned and you can collect the remains afterwards. They’re every small. They’re ashes.

right

so, it’s like a burning process.

Okay, interesting. So, the word is to be cremated, to get cremated.

Yeah. His body was cremated.

was cremated. And well, as you said, you take the ashes and you can put them in a cremation urn or just an urn.

Okay, urn. This might sound like a strange word to you. But urn is a special kind of pot, okay? Or a vessel to hold things in. So, for example, in this case we have a cremation urn that is a special pot, usually very beautiful. Sometimes there’s a name on it with the deceased person’s ashes

right

his or her remains

okay, very good. So, as you said it’s kind of like a vase or a pot, something very nice and small where you have the person’s ashes. All right, so now we know what happened during the funeral, we know what happens, how you maybe cremate the person or you put them in a casket. And well, what happens afterwards?

Well, afterwards you have a memorial service. Okay, so many people want to know what the difference between a funeral or memorial service.

Right

in my mind, a funeral is very quiet and sad and you have some respectful words and you usually put the casket into the ground or have some kind of ceremony. But memorial service is an opportunity to talk to friends and family, to eat some food, to have some drinks, to talk about the person who died. It’s almost like the party if that makes sense.

Yeah, exactly. It’s a get together of people who obviously are trying to give support to their friends or their family members who lost that person. But also, to talk about that person in a good way and all the great memories they had. I guess that’s why it’s called a memorial service, because you remember and you give out your memories about that person.

Exactly.

Okay, Great. So, a lot of interesting words there, very specific to this topic, but obviously really important. So, why don’t we go back and listen to the dialogue again.

A: Hi Daniel, how are you holding up? I am greatly sorry for your loss.

B: Thank you, I’m doing much better. I’ve begun organizing everything for the funeral.

A: How’s that going ?

B: It’s a lot harder than I imagined. There are many things that you have to to arrange. I booked a time and date with the funeral home, but I still have a lot of things to do.

A: Have you bought a burial plot and a casket?

B: No. Wendy is being cremated. She always talked about how she didn’t want to be buried. I already chose a cremation urn and we plan to spread the ashes in the ocean.

A: I see, that sounds like something she would have really liked. I am sure the memorial service will be tasteful. You are doing a great job.

B: Thanks, it hasn’t been easy, but luckily we have life insurance and Wendy left behind a detailed will that will sort out any other legal matters.

All right, we’re back. So, we have a couple of phrases, four to be exact that we want to take a look at now in fluency builder.

Fluency builder

Okay, this first phrase is a very useful one if you’re trying to ask someone about maybe how they’re feelings. Or someone who’s had some problems recently, you can ask them how things are going. One person says to the other, hi Daniel, how are you holding up.

Right. How are you holding up? Now, you know that to hold up something means to have in your hands. But in this case, you’re talking about how are things going.

Right. But I wouldn’t say, hey how are you holding up?

Right, you wouldn’t say that somebody, right? If, in normal circumstance.

Not if Marco looks really happy, I want ask you him. But if someone has passed through a very difficult period, for example, if someone dies in their family or perhaps if they’ve been very sick, or you know there’s some negative or difficult things that happened, you can say, how are you holding up?

So, basically means how are you dealing with this difficult situation

Yes

or how are you dealing with your illness. Okay, how are you holding up?

Or how are you holding up with your in-laws?

Right, exactly. How are you doing in that difficult situation? And then the person complemented this by saying, and this is a very good phrase, this whole sentence is very useful if you want to say something nice to a person that has recently lost someone, you say I am greatly sorry for your loss.

Okay. So, you might’ve heard the word loss before, lose, loss. Loss is a noun. It’s a thing. We normally say this about people who have died. Because you don’t wanna say, I’m really sorry for your dead brother

Right

It’s sad

too direct

too direct. So, in English we say I’m greatly sorry for your loss, for this part of your life that has been, that has gone away.

Right

you could also say I’m very sorry for your loss. This is standard phrase for—

right

this is a standard phrase for funerals and memorial services.

Exactly. So, if somebody’s brother died, you go up to that person and you can say I am greatly sorry for your loss. I am very sorry for your loss. That’s what you say and it’s very respectful and it’s very nice to say.

Yes, it’s very nice.

All right, so now moving on, we’ve said that the person is sorry and everything, but then they we’re talking about the girl Wendy and that she had life insurance and that she also left behind a detailed will.

Does that mean she forgot it?

She forgot it

no

but then it can mean that, right?

Right. Now, yeah. This is a phrase that has a couple of different meanings. And so, it’s important to look at this when we’re talking about someone who has died, who left behind something. It means that they have completed it, in this case or it survives them.

Okay. So, they left that for you, okay? Because as you said it, it has a couple of different meanings like to leave behind can be to lose or to forget. But in this case specifically, it’s to leave for you.

Yeah. For example, you could say he died and he left behind three children, okay? So, that means that he had three children when he died and they’re still alive.

Right. Okay, very interesting phrase, to leave something behind. And so, she left behind a detailed will and that’s going to sort out any other legal matters.

to sort out, this is a great verb. This is a verbal phrase that we hear a lot with documents and wills and things like this. Basically, to sort out means to solve problems or to fix or to remint. For example, have you sorted out that problem you had with your plane tickets?

Okay. Yeah, to sort out. So, have you fixed those problems or have you solved those problems that you had with your plane tickets?

to sort out, to fix, to make arrangements for, very very useful phrase

very useful phrase. Okay, so four key phrases there, really good ones. Why don’t we go back and listen to the dialogue and we’ll be back to talk a little bit more.

A: Hi Daniel, how are you holding up? I am greatly sorry for your loss.

B: Thank you, I’m doing much better. I’ve begun organizing everything for the funeral.

A: How’s that going ?

B: It’s a lot harder than I imagined. There are many things that you have to to arrange. I booked a time and date with the funeral home, but I still have a lot of things to do.

A: Have you bought a burial plot and a casket?

B: No. Wendy is being cremated. She always talked about how she didn’t want to be buried. I already chose a cremation urn and we plan to spread the ashes in the ocean.

A: I see, that sounds like something she would have really liked. I am sure the memorial service will be tasteful. You are doing a great job.

B: Thanks, it hasn’t been easy, but luckily we have life insurance and Wendy left behind a detailed will that will sort out any other legal matters.

All right, we’re back. So, now talking about funerals, there’s an interesting word. What is it called when a person speaks at a funeral?

Well, normally at a funeral a loved one or friend will give a eulogy.

eulogy

eulogy

Okay, that’s EU, right?

EU, it looks like a funny word but I it’s very important and it’s something that you hear a lot. Who will give the eulogy? Or his son will give the eulogy. So, this is maybe the keynote address in a funeral. This is the important speech where someone will discuss the person who has died and his or her contributions in life.

Right. Okay, so that’s called a eulogy. That’s really, really interesting because I don’t know, it’s kind of a word that you don’t really use much and you wouldn’t really know it. For example, I didn’t really know about it until I saw it in a movie when he made a mistake. He said Googlgy or something like that. Yeah, it was in a comedy. So, but a very interesting word. It’s a sad topic but it happens sometimes. You have to deal with these things and so, if you have to do it in English, well, what better way than to learn all of these things which could come in handy sometimes.

That’s right. And you never know you’re watching a movie or something and this comes up. There a lot of comedies like you said. We call them black comedies. They’re very dark and strange. And they are like four weddings and a funeral is a very famous English movie about this kind of thing. And so, this is useful vocabulary, some useful phrases for those situations as well.

Exactly. Even if you maybe meet somebody who, I remember I knew somebody who met a casket salesman

Really?

who sold caskets

it’s an interesting job.

Yeah. So, you never know.

You never know. Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed this lesson, not too dark for you. But please do remember to ask us any questions or practice some of your new words and phrases on our website Englishpod.com.

All right. We’ll see you guys there. Bye.