The Importance of Being Earnest, Part 1, Earnest or Ernest?"

Algernon Moncrieff, a wealthy young man from the upper classes of society, is passing the time playing the piano in his luxurious flat in central London. He’s waiting for his aunt and cousin to come to tea. Algernon is a well-dressed and pleasant-looking man. His servant, Lane, is busy preparing the table.

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?

I thought it would be rude to listen, sir.

Oh, that’s a pity. Now, have you made the cucumber sandwiches yet for Lady Bracknell? They said they would be here at five.

Yes, sir. Here they are.

Oh! Good– By the way, Lane, I noticed eight bottles of champagne were drunk on Thursday night while I was having dinner with Mr Worthing.

That’s correct, sir.

Why do bachelors’ servants always drink their champagne?

It’s probably because a bachelor’s wine is better than the wine you’d find in married families.

Good heavens! Is marriage as bad as that?

People tell me that it is very pleasant, sir . I don’t have much experience. I’ve only been married once.

(a bell rings)

Aha! That will be my dear aunt, Lady Bracknell… Tell her that I’m in the morning room .

But it isn’t Algernon’s aunt. It’s a young gentleman who follows Lane into the room. He’s good-looking and has a serious expression on his face. Algernon is pleased, though surprised, to see him.

Mr Ernest Worthing.

How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you to London?

Oh, pleasure of course!

Where have you been since last Thursday?

In the country.

What on earth do you do there?

When you are in town you entertain yourself. When you are in the country you entertain other people. It is really quite boring.

And who do you entertain?

Oh, neighbours.

Got nice neighbours where you live in Shropshire ?

Perfectly horrid ! Never speak to any of them.

They must find you very entertaining, then!

Hello! Why all these cups? Why cucumber sandwiches? Who’s coming to tea?

Oh! Just my aunt Lady Bracknell and… her daughter Gwendolen…

How wonderful!

Yes, but Lady Bracknell won’t approve of you being here.

Why not?

My dear fellow , the way you flirt with Gwendolen is perfectly disgraceful. It’s almost as bad as the way Gwendolen flirts with you.

I’m in love with Gwendolen. I’ve come to London to ask her to marry me.

You told me you had come here for pleasure ? I call that business.

You are so unromantic!

I really don’t see anything romantic in proposing . It’s very romantic to be in love. But there’s nothing romantic about asking someone to marry you. They may accept you. Then the excitement is all over. If I ever get married, I’ll certainly try to forget that I am.

I’m sure you will, dear Algy.

I don’t think you will ever marry Gwendolen.

Why on earth do you say that?

Well, in the first place, girls never marry the men they flirt with.

Oh, that’s nonsense!

It’s true. It explains why there are so many bachelors. In the second place, I won’t give you my permission.

Your permission?

My dear fellow, Gwendolen is my first cousin, and before I allow you to marry her, you will have to explain about… Cecily.

Cecily? What do you mean? Who is Cecily? I don’t know any one called Cecily.

(A bell rings)

You called, sir?

Bring me that cigarette case Mr Worthing left here last Thursday.

Yes, sir.

Have you had my cigarette case all this time? I wish you’d told me. I’ve been to the police. I nearly offered a large reward.

Well, I wish you would. I’m quite hard up at the moment.

There’s no point offering a large reward now it’s been found.

The cigarette case, sir.

I think that’s rather mean of you, Ernest. However, it’s not important now because according to the inscription inside, the case isn’t yours anyway.

Of course it’s mine. You’ve seen me use it hundreds of times. Now, could I have my cigarette case back?

Yes, but this isn’t your cigarette case. It’s a present from someone called Cecily, and you said you didn’t know anyone of that name.

Well, actually, Cecily is my aunt.

Your aunt!

Yes. Lovely old lady she is, too. Lives in Tunbridge Wells.

But why does she call herself “little Cecily” if she is your aunt? “From little Cecily with her fondest love.”

What’s wrong with that? Some aunts are tall, some are small.

Yes. But why does your aunt call you her uncle? “From little Cecily, with her fondest love to her dear Uncle Jack.” There is no problem, I admit, to an aunt being small, but why should an aunt call her own nephew… uncle? Besides, your name isn’t Jack. It’s Ernest.

It isn’t Ernest. It’s Jack.

You have always told me it was Ernest. I have introduced you to everyone as Ernest. You look as if your name was Ernest. You are the most earnest -looking person I ever saw in my life - so honest and serious.

Ah yes, we should just say that the name Ernest was very common at the time, and the adjective ‘earnest’ - which sounds exactly the same - means, well, honest and serious.

Here, it’s written on your card: “Mr Ernest Worthing, B4, The Albany.”

Well, my name is Ernest in town and Jack in the country, and the cigarette case was given to me in the country.

Yes, but that doesn’t explain why your small Aunt Cecily calls you her dear uncle. Or why you have two names to start with. Come on, you’ll have to explain.