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Through You VIP - Commentary

Hello, this is AJ. Welcome to the extra audio commentary for this month’s VIP lesson and our topic is ‘Through You Consciousness.’ Kind of an interesting and different topic, really, something I’ve been thinking about quite a bit in the last several months in terms of my own life, in fact.

As you know, most of the topics for VIP come from experiences in my own life. I like to try things first before I teach them to you. Now, this idea of ‘through you’ consciousness, you know ‘by you’ consciousness, I think it’s a really important core attitude to think about because we kind of have these three different deep perspectives on life, everything in life is what we’re talking about, kind of a big topic.

On one hand we have this big kind of world view, general, central, world view that’s how you see the whole world. How you see your life. How you see the Universe. How you see everything that happens in your life, all your experiences and on one hand you can have, basically, the passive mentality. That it’s all happening to you, right? That you have no influence over any of it; that everything is kind of out of your control and that, essentially, you are a victim of circumstances.

Now, the sad part about that mentality is that it tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That’s a nice phrase in English – self-fulfilling prophecy. It means a belief that causes itself to become true.

Let’s imagine, for example, you could believe that you’re weak. You say oh, I’m weak.

I’m a weak person. I’m weak. I’m weak. I’m physically weak. I can’t do hard work. So if you had that belief, possibly, you might then decide well, because I’m weak I can’t do hard work and therefore you would not do hard work and because you did not do hard work you never would get stronger. So the belief that you are weak would actually end up being true, but it’s true because you believed it. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Well, it’s the same with this passive idea that everything is happening to you; you know, that kind of consciousness, to you consciousness, where you believe you’re a victim of circumstances. The danger of that world view is that it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just because you believe that, you can end up becoming more and more and more of a victim; a victim of bad luck, a victim of circumstances, a victim of other people’s bad intentions, all of those things.

Even worse, let’s say you have had some kind of victimization in your life, something bad has happened to you maybe when you very small, very young, when you truly couldn’t do much about it. Well, the event may have been very bad, but what’s even worse is the belief then that you’re a victim, that you’re a victim of circumstances; that you’re not the person who is ultimately in control of your own mind, body, spirit and life.

That’s why we can see these very sad stories of people who’ve been abused, for example, when they were younger.

Now that’s sad, but it doesn’t mean that someone has to have a miserable life the rest of their life as they become adults. It doesn’t mean they have to become, you know, alcoholics or drug addicts. It doesn’t mean they have to get into abusive relationships.

None of those things are necessary and, yet, a lot of people who have been abused when they were young do end up living those kinds of lives and making those kinds of choices as they get older.

It’s because that young experience gave them these beliefs that they were powerless, that the rest of the world was just happening to them. There’s not much they could do about it and it created a kind of victim mentality in them which then as they became adults became a self-fulfilling prophecy where they continued to become victims again and again and again and again and again.

When I was a social worker I saw this pattern many times. It’s very, very sad and can sometimes be very hard to break, but there are many people who do break that pattern and, in fact, there are many people who never develop that pattern at all. For some reason they suffer abuse when they’re young, but they don’t believe that they’re powerless. They don’t believe that they’re a victim of circumstance; that everything is happening to them. For some reason they decide that okay, this happened to me now. I can’t do much about it now as a child, but they decide I’m going to make it different when I get older because when I’m older I will be the master of my own life.

It’s people like Oprah Winfrey who’s a famous talk show host in the United States. I’ve mentioned her before. She’s a good example. She was severely abused when she was younger, but she didn’t develop the victim mentality. She instead developed the ‘by you’ mentality or ‘by me’ mentality. It’s the proactive mentality or consciousness or world view. That’s the second one I talked about in this lesson, which is the idea that I am creating my own destiny. I am creating my own life. Ultimately, it’s my own beliefs and my own actions and my own emotions and my consistent habits that determine the kind of life I have.

Obviously, that’s a much more powerful attitude towards life and you’ll find that most high achievers, very successful people in different fields, tend to have that attitude because you need that attitude in order to achieve great success because to achieve success in some area, whether it’s financial or relationships or a career or whatever, you gotta overcome – you must overcome – a lot of big challenges. Even if you’re very talented, you still are going to face challenges and to overcome challenges you must have this belief that okay, I can do it. I determine my own worth. I determine what happens in my life. I am the master of my own life.

People with the victim mentality when they have a challenge they say oh, no, it’s happening again. Oh, all this bad stuff is happening to me again. See, I’m a victim. They tend to just, you know, feel depressed or feel bad for themselves and complain and feel weak when challenges happen; when difficult things happen. So they don’t become high achievers, obviously.

The people who become high achievers are the ones who say no, no, I am the master. I will use this challenge to become stronger. They believe that everything that happens is a challenge for them to overcome; that it’s just a matter of their own strength and willpower and determination and focus. That’s all they need and they can accomplish anything they really want to accomplish.

That’s a very powerful world view. I would say that’s the world view of people like Tony Robbins, super athletes, someone like Michael Jordan. Most people who really fight to the top or fight to achieve some big success against lots of challenges, they usually have this mentality. And, yet, that’s not the only one I talked about. I talked about a third one. I talked about this third one because it’s kind of the ultimate level of consciousness; the highest level. Maybe not the highest, there could be higher spiritual levels, but it’s probably the highest in terms of just being common; something that we can all fairly easily develop.

It’s a kind of consciousness I think that happens with maturity; that happens as you start to achieve your goals and you start to overcome all these challenges and you feel confident in yourself, but then you start feeling a larger purpose and that’s what ‘through you’ consciousness really is. It’s a feeling of being part of something bigger, that you are part of a larger purpose.

Now, people who are religious might describe that in religious terms. They might feel like I am part of the God head or I am part of the entire Universe and indeed you are.

Physics and physicists have proven exactly that – that we’re not all little separate things that are divided. In fact, we’re all connected and, ultimately, everything is all one whole.

Now that’s hard for our little human brains to understand because we have these little finite brains and bodies, but we can still get a sense of it. That’s what the ‘through you’ consciousness is. So I’m not talking about becoming a great super enlightened Buddha and you realize at all moments that you are one with the entire Universe and all, ohm.

That’s great, but that takes a lot of work, you know? A lot of holy people from different religions, holy, h-o-l-y, meaning pure or saintly, a lot of holy people from various religions have gone off into the desert for 40 days, 60 days, just meditating or whatever. They’ve done very extreme difficult things to get to that super high level.

Maybe that’s the ultimate high level of human consciousness, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about something that all of us in every day life can have, this feeling, not that you are constantly all at one with everything, but just that you have this feeling and this faith and this knowledge that you are part of something bigger; that you have a purpose that’s bigger than just your own success. It’s not just about me. I’m going to get more money and I’m going to get the perfect girl or guy that I want or I’m going to get everything I want, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

‘Through you’ consciousness is like yes, I’m going to have a great life for myself, but I’m also part of a family and a community and a planet and yes, indeed, a whole Universe and that I am connected to all of those things and that I have a purpose that is connected to that larger self and, at it’s most powerful, this ‘through you’ consciousness is the idea and indeed the feeling that that larger purpose, that larger connection, is actually working through you; that you are an agent of a higher calling, a higher purpose, not just your own selfish desires, but something bigger, a greater good.

Now, this could be something very practical where you feel like you have a mission let’s say to teach children and so you feel like okay, it’s not just me. I’m not just doing this for me, me, me, I have a mission. For some reason I feel inside me this mission to teach children and then, as you develop that feeling, you actually start feeling that some energy or something is guiding you and helping you. When you have that viewpoint, you view any problem or challenge as a positive teaching and learning experience. You view it as guidance.

See, someone who has the ‘by me’, that very proactive viewpoint, which is very powerful, they look at challenges as something to overcome. Ah-ha, this is a challenge.

It’s like lifting weights, right? This is something that’s difficult, but I will overcome it and in the process I will learn and get stronger and then I could overcome bigger challenges later.

I’ve had that consciousness for quite a while, but I’m developing this other consciousness level too, this ‘through you’ idea. When you have that, when you have this feeling that you’re part of something bigger, a bigger purpose, a greater good, something like that, then a challenge comes and when you’re in that viewpoint you think ah, this problem, this challenge, I’m being guided. I’m actually being helped.

This appears to be a difficulty and a problem, but I need to look deeper. I need to really think about this problem, this challenge, deeply and look at it from different viewpoints because I believe that, in fact, it’s something that is happening in order to teach me, to make me wiser, to actually benefit me and benefit the greater good, to benefit my purpose, to benefit the bigger mission; that some greater good or power or energy or something is actually using this challenge to guide me and help me. It’s an interesting difference in viewpoint.

See, what I have found is that very proactive viewpoint, you know ‘by me’, very proactive, it’s powerful. It helped me to leave jobs and start my own company. It helped me to take a lot of risks in my life and go after all the dreams and goals I ever wanted; you know, traveling the world and having a certain kind of lifestyle and freedom. Lots and lots and lots of great things that I have achieved I achieved with that mentality. It’s kind of strong determination and this belief that I create my own destiny.

However, what I’ve found lately as I’ve achieved most of those things is that if you’re constantly in that mindset it can become exhausting after a while and I’ve recently begun to feel tired, kind of tired of always having to be ah, I must push and drive and overcome these obstacles and rah! I still find that viewpoint useful. So sometimes that is a very useful viewpoint to have and I still do use it. I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s not bad, it’s very good.

It depends on the phase in your life that you’re at. For some people that is exactly what they should focus on, that ‘by me’ consciousness, being super proactive and they don’t need to worry about this ‘through me’ idea. But as you get a little older maybe or as you begin to achieve some of these goals, it’s good to develop something wider. Because the nice thing about this ‘through me’ idea, that you’re working for something bigger and that something bigger is working through you, the great thing about that is it’s much more peaceful and effortless and relaxing.

You see, when you’re trying to be very proactive and a problem comes then you have to rah, get really energetic. I will get through this challenge, rah! But when you’re working for something greater and something greater is helping you and you feel that and believe that then when a problem comes you’re kind of more relaxed. You’re like well, okay, this is another message. This is just another message I have to figure out. This is just another piece of guidance that is here to help me in some way. I just have to figure out how it’s supposed to help and what I’m supposed to do.

So, challenges actually become almost welcome. You almost welcome them. When they come you’re like oh, okay, what’s this meant to teach me? What’s this meant to do?

How is this meant to guide me? You can kind of greet it with more of a relaxed smile and then just figure it out. Also, you have a feeling that it’s not just your own energy that you’re using, but that you’re actually connected to some great big energy out there and that let’s you work harder but feel more relaxed.

So that’s what I’ve been focusing on lately in my own life is really developing this mindset, this mentality and, you know, sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I’m much more proactive and, rah, super energized and goal-oriented, but more and more I’m focusing on contribution and being a part of something bigger and connecting to something bigger.

I’m still accomplishing my goals and accomplishing great things, but I’m doing it with a greater sense of peace and calm and deep purpose. So, I hope you’ll think about this; this month and maybe discover a little bit of that for yourself.

So, I will see you again. As always, please share your feelings and ideas about this topic on our VIP social site. I’ll see you again, bye-bye.