درسنامه اصلی

Thanksgiving – Coaching Lesson

Hi, this is AJ. Welcome to this month’s coaching lesson. Our topic is Thanksgiving. The history of Thanksgiving is quite interesting. Thanksgiving in America goes all the way back to around 1620, the year 1620, 1620 to 1630. So for American history, that’s quite old. That’s really the beginning colonists, the beginning people who came over from England.

And in American history, there were really two initial beginning groups of colonists. One group went down farther to the south to Virginia, and another group went to the north to where now we have the city of Boston and the state of Massachusetts, the northeast part of the United States, which is also called New England.

Now the group that settled in New England first, they were called the Puritans. Sometimes Americans call them the Pilgrims, which is not quite correct, since the Pilgrims are people who make a religious trip.

I guess they were considered religious Pilgrims in the sense, in the way that they were a very religious group of people, the Puritans, coming from England, escaping from bad treatment in England.

So who were the Puritans? Who were these first settlers in the northeast part of the United States? So the Puritans were a group of Christians who had a very strict, very strict view of Christianity and religion and they felt that Christianity had lost its way and they were trying to get back to a pure type of Christianity.

So in other words, they wanted to get back to a direct connection with the religion, with God, without all of the big church and the money and the politics and all of that. So that’s why they are called Puritans, right? Because they wanted a pure kind of religion, a pure kind of Christianity. Now, unfortunately, for the Puritans, they were going against the big churches, the Catholic church and the Church of England, and so they were treated badly at different times in history in England.

And so groups of these Puritans decided we’re going to leave England, we’re going to go to the new world, go to America, and we will found a colony. We will create a colony based on our religious beliefs.

And so a group of them did come. They came over and they settled primarily in New England where we now have Massachusetts and the city of Boston. And they established a colony and more of them came over and the colony grew and grew and grew.

So this was the group that really started our holiday of Thanksgiving because in that time, the 1620s, 1630s, they had a very tough life as you can imagine. They’re coming over to this new world. They had a very tough life. But then they would plant, they would have their farms, and when they harvested their food, when they went out and they cut the food, right, they got their corn, they got their food, they got their wheat, whatever, they were very, very, very thankful because now they had food to survive the winter.

Nowadays, we don’t think about this, right? We just walk down to the store and buy our food. It’s easy.

We don’t really think about it, therefore I think most of us are not consciously thankful for our food in the way that they were. But for them, if they did not have a good harvest, harvest is when you gather the food, especially plants, right, so farmers they grow corn all summer and when they cut it down and get the food, that’s called harvest or harvesting. That happens in the fall, in the autumn.

So nowadays we don’t think about this but at that time it was their…their whole survival depended on a good harvest. If their harvest was bad for some reason, there was a problem with their plants, with their agriculture, if they had a bad harvest, they didn’t get much food, then they could have a very, very tough winter. They might even starve to death and die.

And so the harvest was a time of great thanks for them. When they got a good harvest, they got a lot of food, they really felt that gratitude deeply because it meant they would survive the winter. It meant they would not suffer during the winter so much. And so these groups of Puritans, because they were so religious, after they would have their harvest, they got the food, they were very thankful.

And so they decided to have a day, first of all they had days of fasting which we don’t do anymore in America, but they had a day or days of fasting where they would not eat at all, just drinking water. And this was for purification, right? Many, many, many, many religious and spiritual groups have this tradition of fasting. I’ve done a VIP topic about this in the past, about fasting and all the benefits, many health benefits, many mental and emotional benefits, spiritual benefits to fasting.

But anyway, the Puritans, they fasted, right, which means they would have one or more days where they would not eat. First, they did that. And then they would have a day of feasting, the opposite of fasting.

Feasting is when you have a huge big meal, a huge celebration and eat lots and lots and lots of food.

And so they would have this, on this feast day, where they would gather in all the food they had harvested and they would cook big meals with all the different ingredients. And then they would give lots of prayers of thanks. Thank you, God, for giving us this harvest.

And that is why in the United States when you see Thanksgiving, you’ll see lots of images, lots of symbols of agriculture, of food, right? You’ll see pumpkins and corn and turkeys, right? And chicken and all these food symbols. Well, that’s why, because it goes back to this harvest time of being thankful for the food they just had harvested.

Now, when I think about this, I’m reminded once again how we have lost our sense of gratitude because nowadays in our modern life, things are so, so, so easy, right? How many of us really have deep gratitude, a really deep feeling of gratitude for our food, for example? Something very basic, something that we absolutely must have, food. I know most of us don’t.

Some people will say a small prayer before they eat, y’know, thank you God for this food or thank you for this food, which is nice but it tends to be a little bit on the surface, I find, for a lot of people. Most people don’t even do that. Because the truth is, we don’t have this feeling of gratitude because it’s too easy for us now. It’s just so easy, even for poor people, nowadays. It is much, much easier than for people in the 1620s who had come over to the new world, especially.

So for us, it’s just walk down to the store. Here’s some money. Grab the food. Go home. Throw it in the oven, boom, we’re eating very quickly. It’s all so easy. There’s never a feeling that the food could all be gone. But back in that time period, they definitely had the feeling, not only the feeling, they had the knowledge and the experience that this food was something that was very, very important but something they should be very, very grateful for because they knew it was not certain.

That’s the key thing. It was not certain. It was not guaranteed. They knew that if there was bad weather one summer or one fall, it could destroy a lot of their crops, a lot of their food plants. And that they would then be hungry for the entire winter because of that. They knew that because they experienced it. Many years they experienced that. And so when they had a good year, they were very, very, very grateful.

And that’s what is missing from most of our lives is most of us never experience that kind of hunger. Most of us never have to worry that, oh, not only tomorrow but for the entire winter, there might be very, very, very little food. And, of course, we should be grateful because this is a wonderful situation for us. It’s, I mean, I’m happy that I don’t have to worry that I will starve during the winter and I’m sure you should be happy, too, that you won’t have to starve.

But we forget about all. We forget because things are too easy and we forget to be grateful. And this way, we become a little bit like spoiled children, I believe, culturally I mean. Not so much you individually or me individually, but as a culture, we look around and we definitely have this feeling of lots of people acting kind of like they’re spoiled because we just think everything’s too easy and we don’t have this gratitude.

So I think it’s good to think about this topic of gratitude. Not just on Thanksgiving Day and for a specific holiday, but in general. And as I think about this topic of gratitude, I think about there being really three levels of gratitude. When I’ve thought about it myself in my own life.

Now the first level of gratitude, I would say, is gratitude for abundance. Gratitude for success. This is the easiest level, right? This is something really good happens in your life and you’re happy and you’re, oh, thank you, this is great! Right? Like maybe you want to pass a big test and you pass the test, you pass the exam. Oh, I’m so grateful I passed the exam.

Or maybe you’re hungry, you’re very hungry, oh…and then you get a bunch of food and you’re grateful for the food then, right? This is kind of what the Puritans did. They had the experience of hunger so then they were very, very grateful for the food when they got it. Or you have some really good luck in some area of your life and you’re grateful for that.

That’s the first…or someone gives you a gift, someone gives you money or a gift and you’re grateful, you’re thankful for that. That’s good. It’s good to be grateful because it produces a very positive mentality. It makes us happier. Gratitude makes us happier. So that first easy level is great, but it’s very much on the surface.

The second level of gratitude, which is more difficult, which is less common but I think more powerful even, is gratitude for the small everyday things in our life. The small little things we don’t think about usually, and yet are great blessings to us. I mean, for example, this clothing that I’m wearing. It’s modern clothing. It’s from Patagonia. It’s some modern fabric. So this fabric is super warm and even if it gets wet, it will still stay warm. It’s easy to clean. Fits well, it’s durable, and it didn’t cost me that much.

Alright now, think about this. If we go back again to the 1620s, they had to…how did they make their clothes? They had to make their own clothes. First, they had to find the fabric. So let’s say it was a wool, which is a good fabric. They had to go get the sheep and they had to cut the sheep’s hair off and then they had to make it into long strings. And then they had to weave it together and they had to fashion it into a piece of clothing. It was a lot of work.

Now, by comparison, I just, in fact, I bought this, we bought this online. So I clicked a couple of buttons and this thing is delivered to my door. We don’t think about these things and yet, if we really thought about how easy that is, we would be very grateful. Oh my, thank you so much. This is such a blessing that I can have this warm, super modern fabric so easily.

Things, too, like health. If you’re healthy now, if you’re not sick. If you’re not, y’know, in a hospital, then that is a reason for gratitude because there are, right now, many people are in a hospital right now. Right now, many people in a hospital with very, very, very serious diseases or illnesses. And so if you’re not in that situation, it’s another reason to be very grateful.

Grateful for your health. Grateful for your food that you get every day that is so easy for us to get compared to our ancestors. Grateful for the sunlight, which makes, y’know, all of life possible here on earth. Grateful for our clothes, as I mentioned. Grateful for any money that you have. If you have a job, you have an income, grateful for that. Grateful for your family, grateful your friends.

All these everyday things that exist, that we don’t think about, right? We’re always wanting more. We’re always wanting something bigger. Oh, I’ll be happy when I get the big money, when I’m rich, when I’m super strong and super healthy, when I’m, y’know, at peak performance. Peak performance is great but the deeper level of gratitude is to be grateful for everything that’s good in your life now. And this will make you, again, much, much, much happier as a person.

This finally brings me to the third level, the most difficult level. And that is grateful for all life experiences.

Grateful for the painful ones, all life experiences, including the very difficult and painful ones. That’s not easy. Even for me, this is very, very, very tough sometimes, right? This means that you have a painful experience, maybe you lose.

Maybe you are sick, you get some kind of disease. In fact, I was just sick yesterday. I had a fever. And it’s one positive mindset is to find a way to solve the problem and get through the challenge. That’s kind of one level, but a very deeper level and more powerful level is to even be grateful for the painful, tough, bad things that happen.

How do you do that? If you can do that or when you can do that, you will find it will transform, completely change your feelings. It will give you a feeling of strength and power and confidence, deep, deep, deep strength. But it’s not easy to do. It’s very tough to do, obviously. Because when we’re feeling bad, it’s not so easy to feel grateful. Oh, thank you for being sick, I’m so grateful for being sick. Why would you even do that?

Because you have to think very, very deeply and philosophically to find the gratitude. So let’s say yesterday I was sick. I had a fever. Why would I be grateful for that? Well, on the surface, I would not be. I felt terrible and it seems like there’s no reason to be grateful for that. But if I think deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply, I can find reasons.

So number one, it gave me a feeling of humility. It reminds me to be humble, right? It reminds me that this body is important and that health is not automatic and life is not forever. And therefore, that I should appreciate what I have and to be humble that I’m not invincible, right, that I have limits. All of these things. It’s a humbling experience to be sick. And that’s a good lesson to remember because sometimes we can forget.

Another example which I’ve used in the past, y’know, let’s say your heart is broken. You have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, husband or wife, they leave you. Your heart’s broken. How could you be grateful for that?

Well, actually I have an experience from earlier in my life and I’m very, very grateful for it. Now at the time, I was not grateful but I learned to be grateful because I learned so many things from that experience and now I’m with someone, with my wife, I’m much happier with so I’m actually super grateful for it now.

So what are you going to do this month? I’m going to give you some things to think about to try this month. Always when I give you things to do each month, they’re just suggestions. They’re just suggestions. Think of them as experiments. Try them. Some of them you will like. Some of them will be powerful in your life. Some of them maybe not. Okay, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m not your boss.

Of course, not. I’m just giving you ideas to experiment with to try in your life.

So number one, I would like you to give attention to gratitude every day with small little rituals, y’know, the common one of giving thanks, religiously or non-religiously, it doesn’t matter, but just giving thanks for your food and realizing that that’s a blessing actually, to be able to have all this food available so easily.

And just give a moment to give attention to that gratitude.

And to give attention to the gratitude for all the good things in your life and coming up with little daily rituals to remind you to do that is a good one. Start with the first and second levels of gratitude because those are the easiest, y’know, for focusing on just the abundance in your life and focusing on the good things.

After you’ve done that for a while, I would like you to think about your past, your past, not now, but your past and think about painful things from your past. Maybe far in your past, so that you don’t have the strong emotion anymore. Things that are painful and difficult now, often it’s very tough to be grateful because there’s too much emotion. You’re suffering too much.

So it’s much easier if you look at your past. So look into your past and find some painful, difficult things in your past and examine, just pick one of them, and examine it carefully and ask yourself, what can I be grateful for from that situation, from that pain, from that difficulty? And you’ve got to just keep thinking about it, thinking about it and looking at it deeply and eventually you will find things to be grateful for.

Things that you learned, things that you understood. Maybe unexpected opportunities that came later because of that big problem.

So that’s it. This month, give it a try. Bye.