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Rich Leadership – Main

Hello VIP member and welcome to this month’s lesson. This month we’re talking about leadership and we’re also talking about the writer and thinker and leader, Napoleon Hill.

Napoleon Hill’s most famous book is Think and Grow Rich. However, he wrote many books during his lifetime, one is called Grow Rich with Peace of Mind.

In the commentary this month I read a section from that book, Grow Rich with Peace of Mind, by Napoleon Hill. It’s a story and I’ll summarize the story for you now.

When he was young, Napoleon Hill was not a good kid. What does that mean? It means he got in trouble a lot. He had a very active mind and he was always causing problems. He was a bad kid. He was already kind of this rough, tough, active restless “bad kid”, every said he was a bad kid. Then his mom died and you could imagine for a child that that’s very traumatic and it had a very powerful and traumatic effect upon him.

After his mom died he became much, much worse. He was so bad that his father started criticizing him constantly, telling him he was no good, telling him he was a bad kid, telling him he would grow up to be a criminal. Some of his other relatives would say some of these same kinds of things to him. All these people around him, all these adults were telling him, you’re bad, you’re a bad kid, you’re going to grow up to be a failure, you’ll grow up to be a criminal and he started believing this as a kid. In fact, he started accepting it and decided that yes, he would grow up to be an outlaw, but he made it romantic, someone like Jesse James the famous bank robber.

As a kid he got a toy gun, like a pistol or six shooter, because they held six bullets, and he would practice spinning it and pretend that he was shooting people, pretend that he was robbing banks. So in his mind what he wanted to be as an adult was a bank robber, a criminal.

He believed all these negative things people told him.

Even worse, his father secretly became engaged to another woman. So his father started seeing another woman but didn’t tell Napoleon about it, his son. Until one day, Napoleon Hill finds out his dad was engaged to a new woman. Even worse, all his other relatives in the family constantly told Napoleon this woman is bad. This woman is terrible, she will never replace your mother. It’s terrible that he’s going to be with this woman, she’s going to be really bad to you. This is a bad woman, Napoleon, we feel sorry for you. So they were filling his head before he even met her, with all these negative ideas about his future stepmom.

Finally, one day, the time came for him to meet this woman, his future stepmom. In his mind he was already hating her, so he got his body tough and got this tough look on his face and was ready. When he met her he looked at her tough and was ready to be mean, terrible and negative to her. His dad came over and introduced this new woman, his future stepmom.

When he introduced Napoleon to her, he said this is my son Napoleon, he’s no good. He’s probably going to be a criminal someday. Be careful, he might even try to hit you someday.

He said all this negative stuff about his own son to this woman, Napoleon’s future stepmom.

So right away both of them could have all these terrible negative feelings and of course, in our society and in most country’s there’s a negative idea about step-moms, like the Cinderella story detailing that step-moms are evil and terrible. It’s not your biological mom it’s someone your father marries later because your mom died, or divorce or something. So all of this negative stuff surrounded Napoleon Hill.

He seemed to be destined for failure and criminality and trouble. This seemed to be his destiny at that time in life. Napoleon says, ‘That was my destiny. That’s probably what I would have become, but something miraculous happened.’ This woman, the future evil stepmom, bent down and held him by the chin and looked into his eyes. She didn’t look quickly, she looked for a while, like she was scanning his mind, his soul. She turned to his dad and said, this boy is not bad. He has an active mind, he just needs a worthy purpose to direct his mind, something positive and he can be a great success.

Now, as Napoleon says in the story, this completely changed his feelings about her instantly.

You can imagine, everyone around him constantly telling him he’s bad and suddenly this woman gives him a good long look and says he’s good, he’s intelligent, his mind is active and smart. He can be a great success. It broke all the negative ideas he had about her inside, and instantly he changed and felt this connection to her. Of course, his dad then married the woman and his stepmom then continued to be a great leader and inspiration for him, to encourage him, to change his beliefs, to believe that he was positive, good, intelligent and would in fact, be very successful.

That’s exactly what happened. He did not become a criminal. He did not become a failure.

Quite the opposite, he became a huge bestselling author. His book, Think and Grow Rich, is one of the biggest, bestselling books of all time in English. It’s huge. So he became rich from that book, but more than that, he interviewed and connected with many of the most successful men at that time period, when he was alive. More than that he had a huge influence and contribution, including to this day… he died back in the 1960s at an old age of like 87… but he still influences people today.

People like Tony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, Harv Eker, they all talk about the influence of Napoleon Hill. His book Think and Grow Rich is still a big bestseller, still people are buying it and being influenced by it.

What’s interesting to think about is that all of that happened because of this one woman’s leadership, because according to Napoleon Hill himself, without her he would not have done all these things. He would not have become who he became. He would not have become this incredible, positive leader and huge success. Instead, most likely he would have become a failure and possibly even a criminal. That’s the power of leadership.

It’s the power we all have to affect other people, and that’s what I want to talk about in the rest of this conversation, are the principles that come from that story. I’m going to focus on two leadership principles that we can see in this Napoleon Hill story and that we can use in our own lives, so that like his stepmother, we can have that deep powerful, positive affect on people around us.

This story shows you don’t have to be some big CEO or director of a huge company to be a leader. You don’t have to be the president or a senator. You don’t have to be famous. You don’t any of that to be a leader, this was just a normal woman, extraordinary inside, but she wasn’t rich or famous, nothing like that. She didn’t have a big position, she was just his stepmom, but she was an amazing leader, who completely changed his life and you can do that as well in your own family, with your family member and friends. In your work with co-workers or if you’re a student, with other students. If you are a leader or a manager or something like that, then you have even more opportunities.

Let’s talk about the two principles.

• The first thing this woman did for Napoleon Hill… help others find the best that is inside them.

• See the best in other people, find it yourself and then help them to see it, help them to find it, help them to feel it and appreciate it.

Now, Napoleon Hill in that story, what were his characteristics, his traits? He had a very active mind. He was restless. His mind was super active. He was quite imaginative, because he would imagine being an outlaw and robbing banks and stuff. He had lots and lots of energy.

Today, of course, in the U.S. kids like that they give them drugs, because they won’t sit still in school, so the teachers and the counselors and school officials recommend giving them drugs so they’ll sit there lifeless.

It’s seen as something bad and is a terrible thing, and that’s what everyone was saying about Napoleon Hill. But his stepmom saw that these same things were actually strengths. If they were focused on something positive, an active mind, intelligence and lots of energy, restlessness and a desire to learn new and try new things. Even the characteristic of being easily bored, if you channel all these things into a positive goal, something positive then those weaknesses or bad traits actually become incredible strengths.

So she saw in him first herself, she looked at him and saw these are not weaknesses these are strengths and the second thing she did was to help him see it. She communicated it not only to him but to his dad and all the surrounding family members. He’s good. He’s got an active mind. He’s intelligent. He will be successful.

This is the number one thing you want to do with people to be a great leader is you have to see the strengths in people. You have to see their strengths. You have to find them and with some people it’s very easy and with some maybe not, maybe they annoy you. Maybe they’re difficult for you like Napoleon was for his family. You have to look more deeply at that person and think more deeply.

First of all, look at these characteristics you don’t like that are causing problems. Think to yourself, could they be strengths if they were used differently or in a different situation? Could they be strengths? Also, look at the person, observe them not just once but over several days and see what they do well. See what they’re naturally good at. See what they love and what they’re passionate about. If you have a relationship with them you can even ask them questions to learn more about them.

The first step of leadership is that you have to understand that other person and see their strengths, what’s best in them.

• The next thing you need is faith.

You have to have faith in them. This means you have to believe in them. You have to believe that they can use their strengths for something good, for something positive, that they will and can succeed, contribute, be great using their strengths, they just need to focus them in a positive direction. You have to have faith in that and believe that deep down inside yourself.

You have to believe that first, because many times the other person doesn’t believe it.

First, they might not even know about their own strengths. They might not see them or they might think their own strengths are weaknesses because people criticize them all the time about it.

Secondly, they might like their own strengths but they might not believe in themselves or have the faith that yes, they too can be successful. So you as the leader, you have to have that faith in them first.

We saw this with Napoleon Hill’s stepmom. She had faith in him. She said he will succeed. He can and will succeed, all he needs to do is channel these traits, his active mind, his imagination, his energy in a good direction, that’s all he needs to do. She believed in him first, he never believed in himself before, everyone told him he was bad so he thought he was going to become a criminal. She believed in him. She had faith and she showed it. That is a powerful thing. You see it changed his life, just the faith and belief of one person can completely change someone’s life, especially someone who has had lots of trouble in their life.

Who nobody believes in and everybody criticizes and one person comes along and really believes in them, sees their strengths, believes they can change, believes they can and will succeed, they feel it. They feel that from you and then they will trust you and start believing you and start believing in themselves as well. It’s a powerful part of leadership.

Too many times in leadership books and videos that I see, people, the teachers, they focus too much on little techniques, like how to use the cool little phrase to persuade someone, how to use some little tricks of psychology to change someone’s mind. Those are okay, but honestly, the most powerful kind of leadership comes from deep inside. It’s this kind of thing that his stepmom showed. It’s truly at a deep level, seeing other people’s best parts, what’s good in them and having faith deep down inside, true real, sincere faith in them that yes they can change, yes they can succeed.

You see it, believe it and have a vision of it and when you have that deep inside the other person feels it and they then trust you. They then want to listen to you. They accept your leadership because you believe and have faith in them. You see what’s best in them. That’s not a technique it’s something far deeper and far more powerful and that is the root of great leadership.

Now, beyond this what needs to happen? After you see that strength and you communicate it and show that faith, you have that faith, then you want to encourage that other person to experiment, to see the strengths themselves and experiment using that strength(s) (more than one), in their life. So, if they have an active mind like Napoleon or they’re really restless then encourage them to find positive ways to use that. Encourage them to see those things as strengths not as bad things, not as weaknesses.

Finally, you might want to encourage them to believe in themselves. Say you can do it. Give lots and lots of encouragement. Use little words or phrases here and there, a little compliment or suggestion, you don’t have to give big speeches or anything like that, just genuine encouragement of their strengths, genuine faith in them as a person.

These things are so powerful, the essence of leadership right there. That’s what his stepmom showed and you can do this as well. Anyone can do this it doesn’t require great communication ability, nothing, it simply requires seeing, listening and having faith in other people.

Let’s go on now to the second part, the second great skill of leadership that we see in this story and that is…

1. Helping people find a worthy cause, a worthy objective, a worthy purpose for themselves, for their strengths.

Later in the book, Napoleon talks about how his stepmom encouraged him to write and she helped him to learn to type. He was born back in the late 19th century, grew up and lived in the early 20th century and up to the 60s when he was quite old. So he learned to type and his stepmother saw his active mind and that he was intelligent, saw that he could learn to communicate well, encouraged him to write and learn how to type and helped teach him. So she helped him find this objective of writing. He then became a newspaper writer and of course, he eventually started writing books, including his super famous one that became a huge bestseller.

This is something else that the stepmom did at the next stage. First, she gave him faith in himself, to find his strengths and believe in himself and encouraging him in any way to use those strengths in a positive way, just experiment. But the next thing is, when she started to see what he loved to do and was good at, she started encouraging him to find worthy goals, inspiring worthy objectives and goals. This kind of discovery of worthy goals is so important and it’s the next step of being a great leader. Once that person trusts you and you have that faith with them, they believe in you and you believe in them, then you have to help them focus their strengths in some way in a worthy goal, not just any goal, but a worthy goal. Meaning meaningful, is the best way.

What is a worthy goal?

How do we know if a goal is worthy or not?

How do we help someone else find their own worthy goal to work towards?

First, I would say a worthy goal needs to be challenging. It needs to be a challenge, a little difficult. Because if it’s easy then it just encourages laziness and it doesn’t help the person grow at all. So a worthy goal is challenging. There’s some difficulty that requires the person to increase their skill a little bit and be a little courageous and this might be a little challenge or it could be a huge challenge. With Napoleon Hill, the stepmom gave him little challenges and encouraged him to choose. She didn’t choose them she encouraged him to choose them, but she gave suggestions, that’s how you do it.

She would say, why don’t you just try to write you’re a good writer. I encourage you to keep writing. Why don’t you learn how to type, because then you can write faster. So she encouraged him and helped him and taught him how to do it. Then she encouraged him, how about becoming a reporter, you’d be good at it and he liked the ideas so she encouraged him to keep directing his energy, his strengths towards these worthy goals. Once he accomplished that then he wrote a book, so step by step more and more challenging goals.

Another point about worthy goals is they should use the person’s strengths. Don’t encourage someone on your team or in your family to choose a goal that focuses on their weaknesses. If they want to work on their own weaknesses that might be okay, but focusing on their strengths is better. It works better for most people and it’s the faster key to success and happiness in life. So encourage them to choose goals that use their strengths, not their weaknesses.

I could give an example from sports. Let’s say if someone is like me they’re not so huge, they may be a little strong but they won’t be massive so encouraging me to become a bodybuilder like Arnold Schwarzenegger probably is a bad idea, I don’t have the right kind of body type.

I’ve lifted weights and I get stronger, but I never build that kind of muscle. So for me that wouldn’t use my strengths, because growing big muscles isn’t one of my natural strengths. On the other hand I’m a pretty good runner. I love running and I can run a long time, have a lot of energy and I can go on for hours and hours. So a better physical goal for me might be to finish a marathon or do some other more endurance or stamina kind of challenge.

That’s a clear physical example of choosing a goal that uses strengths, so when you’re helping another person, see their strengths and make sure the goal matches their strengths. That’s very important, because then they have a bigger chance to succeed.

Another key attribute, meaning characteristic, of a worthy goal is that it produces learning. It’s part of that challenge, that to accomplish something more difficult you have to learn something new, you can’t continue being exactly the same to accomplish the goal. If you can accomplish the goal right now as your normal self, if that other person can accomplish the goal without learning anything new then it’s also not a worthy goal, it’s not encouraging learning or growth and that’s the whole point of goals is to encourage us to grow as human beings, is to discover our strengths and make them even stronger, to contribute to more people and to learn more.

That’s why we need goals, not just to show off and look good or to make money. It’s because it produces growth and makes us better human beings, more complete human beings and a better part of our global society. So a worthy goal needs to produce learning or require some learning.

Finally, a worthy goal has an element of contribution. Meaning, that by achieving the goal you not only help yourself you also help other people, that by accomplishing the goal you can contribute more to others as well. You benefit and others benefit. So again, when you’re helping another person choose a worthy goal, make sure their goal also contributes to other people, not just them, because when you’re contributing to other people you’re more motivated, you have more energy and in the end you’re happier. So you’re helping that other person choose a goal that will make them happier.

I’ll give an example, let’s go back to the physical example. By running and getting more energy, you might think that’s only a goal that would benefit me, but if you look at it more deeply, it’s actually a goal that will help me contribute to more people. If I have more energy that means I have more energy to teach and help others. I have more energy to do speeches and make videos like this. When I have more energy I’m in a better mood so I’m nicer to people. Meaning, I’m contributing and being better with people. So getting energy and being physically healthier, definitely helps me contribute, so it fits that definition of a worthy goal.

Money might be another example. Making a lot of money… I want to be a millionaire. Well, that could be a worthy goal if your idea of becoming a millionaire also involves helping other people, helping your family, friends or building a company that helps other people. There are many ways that money can contribute, but making a million dollars so you look cool and can eat expensive food, drive expensive cars and everyone is jealous of you, that’s not such a worthy goal. So the reason for the goal is also important and that’s what makes it worthy or not.

So when you’re working with someone and leading them, find their reasons for the goal too and make sure there’s an element of contribution.

Okay, from here what do you do? First of all, in the commentary this month I actually read a section from Napoleon Hill’s book Grow Rich with Peace of Mind. I do this because it’s a Public Domain book, meaning there’s no copyright anymore because he’s dead and has been for a long time, so this book is now openly public for anyone. So I read a section of the book so it’s like a mini audio chapter. Then in the commentary I give you specific steps, some more step-by-step actions to take in your life this month to be a better leader, using these principles.

You can change someone’s life. Napoleon Hill’s stepmom totally changed his life. This one woman made a huge difference to him. There are so many stories out in the world like this, amazing success stories and when you talk to the successful person, they often will say I was influenced by this person or maybe there have been a few people in their lives who changed their lives and gave them that feeling of faith and strength, who found their strengths and encouraged them, who helped them find worthy goals. You can do that for other people too, in your family, your job, in your life anywhere. I encourage you to do that.

So enjoy the lessons this month and I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.