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Family Ritual Magic – Interactive Lesson B

Hello and welcome to part B of the interactive lesson. Now I’ll ask you some very easy questions. Answer with one or two words. Answer quickly. Most of all, listen, listen, listen every day to this and the other audios. Learn deeply. Let’s begin…

The dictionary says a ritual is an action repeated. Ritual is something you do in the same way over and over on purpose.

Do you do rituals on purpose or do you do them accidentally?

You do them on purpose. You do rituals on purpose.

So that rituals are consciously chosen or done unconsciously?

Consciously chosen, they’re done consciously, on purpose. Rituals are done in the same way over and over on purpose.

To me, family ritual is practically any activity you purposely repeat together as a family, that includes a heightened attentiveness and something extra.

So rituals need to include two things, the first is what?

Heightened attentiveness, heightened attentiveness.

So reduced attentiveness?

No, not reduced attentiveness, increased attentiveness, more attentiveness; heightened attentiveness.

So rituals have what kind of attentiveness?

Heightened… rituals have heightened attentiveness, increased attentiveness.

They also have something extra that lifts them above ordinary ruts.

So, are rituals the same as ruts?

No, they’re not the same as ruts they are above ruts. They’re more special than ruts.

What’s another word for rut, a rut?

Habit, a habit. A rut is a habit. A rut has a little bit of feeling of being boring, a little bit of that feeling, of being a boring habit. A rut…

So, are rituals the same as ruts?

No, rituals are not the same as ruts. Rituals have something extra that lifts them above ordinary ruts. A habit isn’t the same at all. A rut is not the same at all.

A habit is something you do like brushing your teeth without thinking.

On automatic what?

Pilot. On automatic pilot.

So, do we often perform habits on automatic pilot or on purpose?

On automatic pilot. Many habits we do on automatic pilot.

So, do we do them consciously or unconsciously?

Unconsciously and automatically, on automatic pilot.

For example, do you want your English speaking to be on automatic pilot?

Yes you do, certainly. You want your English speaking to be on automatic pilot. You want automatic fluency, automatic pronunciation, automatic spoken grammar. You want to speak English on automatic pilot.

Another difference between rituals and habits is the nature of your purpose. You brush your teeth so they stay clean and won’t fall out. You don’t have family dinners just for the purpose of putting food in your belly’s, in your stomachs. You gather together because you want to build a deep, satisfying sense of belonging for your tribe.

Is tribe similar to family?

Yeah, it is. Tribe is similar to family.

So you want a sense of belonging, a feeling of belonging for your what?

For your tribe.

Do you want your tribe to feel lonely?

No, you don’t want your tribe to feel lonely. You don’t want your family, your big extended family, your close group, you don’t want them to feel lonely, you want them to feel a sense of belonging. You want your tribe to feel a sense of belonging.

Here’s another way to describe the difference between ritual and routine. There is a great difference between routine and ritual. Routines are obligatory activities.

So, are routines optional?

No, not really. Routines are obligatory, they’re required activities that require little or no thought.

So what are obligatory activities? What do we call those, obligatory activities?

Routines… routines.

A routine or routines are what kind of activities?

Obligatory, required or necessary.

So are they optional or obligatory?

Obligatory; routines are typically obligatory activities that require little or no thought.

Are rituals obligatory?

No, rituals are not obligatory. You don’t have to do them they’re not necessary, but they are special.

Rituals encompass spirit, magic and empowerment.

So rituals include or don’t include those things?

Include, include, they encompass spirit, magic and empowerment.

What encompass spirit, magic and empowerment?

Rituals, rituals encompass spirit, magic and empowerment. Rituals include spirit, magic and empowerment.

So, rituals make people weaker right? They feel weaker?

No, no, no, no they encompass spirit, magic and empowerment. Empowerment, they feel stronger, empowerment to make stronger. To empower, the verb, is to make stronger.

So rituals transform you and your family to new levels of accomplishment and being.

Do they change you a little or a lot?

A lot, they transform you and your family. They make big changes eventually. Over the long term they transform you and your family.

I think families that work to achieve memorable -(easy to remember)- personal rituals will very likely tap into something magical.

So, special rituals they disconnect from the feeling of magic?

No, not disconnect.

They what?

Tap into, tap into, connect to, connect into.

What connects into something magical?

Rituals. Rituals, special rituals tap into something magical.

And they will definitely empower their children or your parents or your friends.

So rituals make your group feel more or less powerful?

More powerful, more powerful, more special, more connected, more confident. Rituals empower your children. Rituals empower your group.

But, what’s the extra pizzazz that makes an activity a ritual and not a routine?

What’s the extra what, what’s that word?

Pizzazz.

So pizzazz is something boring, right?

No, no, no, no the opposite. Pizzazz is something exciting, some little thing that’s exciting.

So pizzazz is something exciting or something boring?

Something exciting, something interesting.

So, for a ritual do you want pizzazz or no?

Yes, yes, yes, you want pizzazz. You want some little part that’s exciting, that’s interesting. You need to create a splash.

So do you want to create a strong reaction to your ritual or no?

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to create a splash. You want to create a strong reaction. You want to get attention.

You want to create a splash.

You want to create a splash with what?

With your ritual. Add some pizzazz. Add some excitement to your ritual and create a splash.

Create a stronger reaction. Throw some sprinkles on top. Throw some excitement on top.

For example, repeated words or actions, special food or music and a heightened sense of attention can provide the juice you need.

So these things they provide energy or they provide boredom?

They provide energy. They provider emotion. They provide power. They provide the juice.

These things, repeated words and actions, special food and music, heightened attention, they all provide the juice.

What do they provide?

The juice, the energy, the excitement that you need.

Do you need juice for your rituals?

Yeah you do, you need some kind of special excitement or emotion, positive emotion or energy.

You need to provide juice, provide the juice with your rituals.

I wouldn’t call it a ritual if you sometimes sit on the front steps of your house blowing bubbles with your kids. (There’s not enough juice there) But, if you do it every Friday - (so it’s repeated and predictable)- while consuming cookies and lemonade- (special foods)- and you call it your ‘welcome to the weekend party’- (like a special name, extra attention), then it’s definitely a family ritual. (See the difference?)

These little things add what?

They add some extra pizzazz, some extra excitement. They create a splash.

They get more what?

Attention.

Many of my favorite rituals are extremely simple. For example, there’s the mother who writes inspirational messages in colored chalk on her driveway and street.

So what kind of messages does she write?

Inspirational messages.

Who writes inspirational messages?

The mother. The mother writes inspirational messages.

And where does she write them?

On her driveway and street in colored chalk, so her daughters will find them on the first day of school.

When does she write inspirational messages?

The first day of school every year. The first day of school every year the mother writes inspirational messages.

Next example, the father who provides monster spray in a bottle so his young son can fall asleep every night feeling safe, feeling protected

What kind of spray?

Monster spray. This just means anti-monster spray. It’s obviously imagining, it’s not real.

Ritual is a package deal.

So rituals need all of these elements or just one or two?

They need all of these elements.

Ritual is what kind of deal?

A package deal. It means you have to have all of these elements together. You have to have them or get them all together, not separately.

So, what is a package deal?

Ritual. Ritual is a package deal. You must have all of these elements to create a ritual.

Ritual is everything we do to celebrate our families, or our groups, not just on special occasions but also, every day, every meal, every bath and every bedtime story.

So, do rituals need to be only on special holidays?

No, not at all they could be every day. You could have daily rituals that are magical. You could have weekly rituals that are magical.

In ritual little is big; so little things can be magical. Although dress up holidays with lavish feasts are fun…

What kind of holidays?

Dress up holidays.

So, for a dress up holiday do you dress nicer or more casually for a dress up holiday?

You dress nicer. To dress up means to dress more nicely, more formally.

For example, for weddings, people usually dress up. Usually people don’t wear shorts and a tshirt. For a wedding they dress up. Mean wear nice suits or some kind of nice traditional clothing. Women wear nice dresses or other kinds of nice clothing. They dress up. They dress more formally, more nicely.

So, although dress up holidays with lavish feasts are fun… So holidays sometimes have very simple feasts, right? Maybe, but the writer is saying they often have what kind of feasts?

Lavish feasts. It’s the opposite of simple. Luxurious, super nice, maybe complicated feasts.

Lavish has the idea of wealth or luxury.

So a lavish feast, is it a simple meal?

No, no, no it’s the opposite. A lavish feast is not a simple meal it’s a huge, very, very nice luxurious meal.

So, what do we call a very nice, huge, luxurious meal? What do we call that?

We call that a lavish feast.

And on some holidays we have lavish feasts and they can be fun, but it’s the everyday traditions or the every week or the every month traditions that determine, that decide how we experience our families and demonstrate hands on love for our children.

What kind of love do we want to demonstrate to our children?

Hands on love. It means direct loving actions.

You can describe a direct loving action as what kind of love?

Hands on. Hands on love. Direct love.

Intuitively, we know this is good.

We know this is good consciously is that right?

No, not consciously.

How do we know this is good?

Intuitively. Naturally and unconsciously.

We know this is good or bad?

Good. Intuitively, we know this is good.

And we consciously pass down beloved traditions

Do we unconsciously pass down beloved traditions?

No, we consciously, on purpose, pass down beloved traditions.

What do we pass down? What do we give to younger people? What do we pass down to our children?

Beloved traditions. Beloved traditions.

What kind of traditions?

Beloved traditions.

So traditions we love or traditions we hate?

Traditions we love, beloved traditions. We pass down beloved traditions from our own childhoods.

And that is the end of part B. Listen to it every day. Listen to all the audios daily for at least 14 days. In this way you will learn unconsciously, on automatic pilot. In this way your learning will be on automatic pilot and your fluency and speaking will soon be on automatic pilot also.

All right, see you next time. Bye for now.