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Dating – Commentary Lesson

Hi, this is Kristin. Welcome back to the commentary for the conversation Dating. I realized in the conversation that I didn’t really talk at all about my dating experience. So I never did any of the modern dating that we talked about. Modern dating being posting an advertisement in the want ads online. For example, the website that we talked about, Craigs list. Another example would be creating a profile on a website. I mentioned eHarmony, that’s one dating website. I never did that.

Another example of modern dating, I just saw this in a TV show that Joe and I were watching. It’s a new TV show called Master of None. And in it, the main character who’s from India but he was born here in the United States, so his mother and father moved from India when he was, well, before he was born I guess. So he’s Indian-American.

And in the TV show, he talks…he’s talking about dating and he mentions an app, y’know, an app on his smart phone for dating. And basically what it is, you sign up, or you download this app and you go through and you look at different people’s pictures. I don’t even think that there’s a profile created. In other words, there’s no information about them.

And you just, if you like the way the person looks, then you click something like Yes or Check and if you don’t, I guess you maybe don’t click something or you click No or an X, I can’t remember exactly how it works, but basically, let’s say I have the app and I check a guy that I think looks good and looks like my type. And if that guy, that same guy, were to check me, then we would be connected.

We would be a match and we would then start texting and could then go out on a date. That was my basic understanding of this app. As I said, it was in a TV show called Master of None in one of the episodes and they didn’t talk very much about it, but that’s how it seemed like it worked. So very basic, if I’m correct. You just see somebody’s picture and you choose them or not.

So I never did any of this modern dating. Now before modern dating, what we’re calling modern dating, really before the internet or even the, before the internet got popular, so say, for example, when I was in university or right after university, some of the ways that my generation would date was maybe putting an ad in a, an advertisement in a newspaper, in the want ad, in the want ads.

Or, I didn’t really know people who did this, but Joe mentioned in the conversation he had an aunt and uncle, so they were older than us, they put an ad in a magazine. Something else that my, I have a cousin who did this, you’d actually go to a building, a physical building, so this was not on the internet at all.

You’d go to a building that was an agency or an office just for dating.

And so you would create a profile with them and you would describe yourself and interests that you had, things you liked to do. They probably took a picture of you. And then you, they would try to match you with other people who they thought would have similar interests. So my cousin actually did this at one point and I believe that’s how she met her current husband.

Something else that was done before the internet, and it’s still done actually, it’s something called speed dating. And AJ actually did this at one point. I don’t know why he didn’t talk about it in the conversation.

My understanding, I never did this, but my understanding is you go somewhere, you sign up for this speed dating and you go somewhere and there’s tables. Let’s say there’s 10 tables in a room.

And so there’s going to be, let’s say, 10 people, let’s say 10 men sitting at those tables. And then there’s going to be women, maybe more than 10, I’m not sure how it works exactly. But there’ll be women then who go from table to table. And so you sit down and you start talking to the person who’s on the other side of the table. But you only have a certain amount of minutes. Let’s say it’s two minutes.

You have two minutes and for both people to talk about themselves. And then there’s a sound, like a bell that rings or something, and you have to move to the next table. And so I think you decide as you go to the different tables who you liked, as does the person who’s sitting at the table, they decide if they liked you or not.

And then you can arrange to go out on a date after that. So it’s called speed dating because you have to be very quick. You only have a certain amount of time, as I said for example, two minutes, I don’t know if it’s more or less, and you want to try and make a good impression, obviously, since you have such a short amount of time. I think that could be something that’s kind of fun actually.

I didn’t, I never did any of these things I just mentioned either, the before the internet dating. I never did these things that I just described. So how I usually met, or how I always met past boyfriends was through jobs that I had, y’know, I would start to get to know somebody. If I liked him, he liked me, then maybe we would start to go out on dates and it might turn into more, where it became a relationship or boyfriend girlfriend. So, from jobs.

One time I met a boyfriend from volunteering. So volunteering is working but you’re offering your services without getting paid. So you’re doing work for free for some kind of organization or some cause, something that you really believe in. So that’s volunteer work, basically, getting paid for free. So I met a boyfriend one time from doing volunteer work at a hospital.

I’ve met boyfriends through friends and school and I even met one boyfriend in the past from buying something from him. He made jewelry and he was selling it and I saw his jewelry and I was looking at it and talking to him and was really, thought his jewelry was beautiful. I couldn’t believe he had made it. It was all handmade, and we just…this was funny actually, because I didn’t believe, or I was surprised these beautiful silver pieces that he had made, I was so surprised by it.

And he then invited me to his house so I could see how he made this silver jewelry. And so I accepted. I went to his house and that’s how it started. We started talking and getting to know each other and started dating and became boyfriend and girlfriend.

So I want to mention, before I end this commentary, that there’s actually two movies that might interest you that are about dating here in America. One is actually kind of old and it’s actually not a movie, it’s an older television series called Sex in the City. And it’s about four women who live in New York City, they’re friends, and it’s all about their lives in New York City and dating men in New York City. So it’s not for everyone but it would give you a little look into dating here in the United States.

And then another, this is an actual movie, it’s called Hitch. And, trying to remember the main character’s name, Will Smith. It has Will Smith in it so it’s a comedy. It’s funny. And Will Smith helps, he has a dating service, he helps men, men who maybe wouldn’t be so successful finding dates, he helps them to overcome their, their insecurities or their feelings of not being so confident about themselves. He helps them overcome this to be able to find dates and to date. And it’s a great movie. In fact, AJ has used it to teach lessons in the past. So Hitch, if you can get that movie, I highly recommend it.

Alright, that’s all for this commentary on dating. Have a great month and I’ll see you next time.