Conversation 31 - Excerpt

Student: So… I should define ‘zygote’ right off the bat- “…a zygote, or fertilized egg,….”

Professor: That’s the idea…but keep it short, or you’ll lose the effectiveness of your opening. Why not just go ahead and use ‘egg’? Then you can introduce the more, uh, precise scientific term later in the paragraph.

S: Just “An egg is…”?

P: Sure. It’s strong and clear, which is just what you want in order to interest your reader. You have a whole essay to be more precise in, to get down to the details.

S: Then what about the rest? You said that “initiation of a new existence” is too, um, too….

P: Too abstract. OK, just tell me this: what do you mean by that phrase?

S: Well, uh… it means, um, the start of a new life, a new living thing….

P: Good! Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? That’s much more direct and attention-getting. It’s expressed in a way that anyone can understand. “An egg is the start- or the beginning- of a new life”.

S: But…does that sound, well…formal enough, Professor?

P: Don’t confuse formality with obfuscation, Michelle. You don’t have to write densely to be formal- and lord knows you don’t have to use big words! You just need to avoid slang and, uh, casual language. And be sure that the grammar is standard. Write clearly, simply, directly- that’s what makes a good essay.