Reading 2

Unit 5- Reading 2

Page 73

I Love Me

Narcissus was the name of a character in an ancient Greek story. According to the story, he was very much in love with his own good looks. He drowned in a pool of water when he leaned over too far, to admire his handsome reflection. There is a personality trait named for Narcissus. It is called a “narcissistic personality.” People with this type of personality have great love for themselves, and this coincides with a strong need to be admired by others.

NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR

Most people who have a narcissistic personality are very ordinary people. However, they think of themselves as being very important and special. As a result, they often try to exploit others. They expect other people to give them constant attention and to obey their commands. In a restaurant, for example, a narcissist might expect to be seated immediately. He might demand a better table, a special salad, or a sharper knife. Narcissists demand attention from everyone, including their family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers.

On the other hand, narcissists can demonstrate great charm. They smile a lot. They gossip and tell jokes. They generate excitement with their lively chatter. They like to talk about themselves and often dominate the conversation with stories about their exploits. In these stories they tend to greatly exaggerate their talents and personal attainments.

In fact, when narcissists describe their attainments, they are likely to be lying. Lying is typical behavior for narcissists, who often try to impress people with false claims about things they own or people they know. They brag that their golf clubs are identical to the ones used by professional golfers. They claim to be best friends with the mayor and the police chief and the bank president.

ROOTS OF NAROISSISM

This kind of talk seems to reflect great self-confidence and self-esteem. However, psychologists suggest that this behavior results not from self-love, but actually from fear of failure and the subsequent shame it would bring. Some say that narcissism results if parents do not comfort young children when they have been disappointed or have failed to attain something. The children view this as punishment and try to avoid future failure. As a result, they never learn to deal with disappointment or failure.

Other psychologists have a slightly different theory. They believe that a narcissistic personality arises when parents try to protect children from disappointment and failure by satisfying all of their demands. This generates in the children a lifelong pattern of expecting that they will always get what they want.

HOW NARCISSISTS SEE OTHERS

Narcissists do not see other people as human beings but rather as objects that have no feelings or needs of their own. Narcissists believe that the role of other people is to satisfy their needs and to admire them. For this reason, narcissists seldom have truly close friends. Instead, they surround themselves with people they consider worthy of their greatness.

NARCISSISM IN CELEBRITIES

Oddly, the narcissistic traits that we find so annoying in ordinary people are the same traits that attract us to many entertainers and professional athletes. A recent study found that celebrities as a group are more narcissistic than other people. However, it is not fame that makes celebrities narcissistic; it is the other way around. They were first narcissistic and were then drawn to careers that would earn them admiration from others.

They are very aware of the applause of their fans. They see it as a positive message that they are loved and admired. But they may also exploit the media to get attention. For example, they wear show-off clothes and date gorgeous partners. They marry and divorce again and again. They buy expensive cars and drive too fast. Whatever they do, the media report it because the dynamic personalities of the celebrities, and their apparent lack of inhibitions, seem exciting.

NARCISSISM IN ALL OF US

All of us have some narcissism, and that’s good. Self love is what motivates people to nourish and protect their bodies, to improve their minds, to learn new skills, and to discover the world in which they live. It is what gives people the self-confidence to share a relationship with others and the ambition to reach for success. However, the self-love of those with a narcissistic personality type is so excessive that it overshadows everything else in their lives.