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So there I was thinking of the past.

I remembered something.

Back in college days we had a group.

We would gather and talk in the yard.

So there was this guy, let’s say his name was John.

And he was a complete idiot.

Wanna know why?

Alright.

Let me tell you a story…

In one of our gatherings he was talking to a friend of mine

Let’s say, George.

And he was pretty rude to him.

He said “Your girlfriend is a slut

And you are stupid.”

We were shocked.

And for some reason, George didn’t kick his ass.

After that event I asked him what the hell was that?

And what do you think his response was?

He said that’s who I am I’m direct. I’m frank.

Reminiscing this event made me come here and talk about this issue.

Because I’ve seen many people having this trait.

They just throw crap out of their mouth with this idea that I’m being frank…

Because this is wrong.

The thing you might say as being frank can hurt a human being

And make you a complete asshole.

No one wants to be an asshole. Right?

On the other hand

Words sometimes can be lethal.

You say something to someone and it hurts them so much.

You can beat the shit out of someone and they’ll recover physically.

As far as you don’t kill them or make them crippled…

But one little word can hurt someone so much that will stay with them forever.

I had horrible experiences myself.

I had a romantic relationship with someone

And it didn’t work out.

And exactly when we were breaking up she brought up my weakness.

To be honest with you all I’m a lonely guy.

I’m pretty shy and introverted.

And I don’t have a lot of friends.

Plus I’m not that sociable.

She said you deserve to be alone.

We could just break up.

After a couple of weeks everything could be fine.

But she said that and made me depressed for several months.

So today we’re gonna talk about the difference between being blunt (rude)

And being direct (frank)

How exactly can we be honest and polite at the same time?

Number 1 - Focus on the action

And don’t make things personal.

Keep the spotlight of the statements on the action you have observed rather than labeling the person’s character.

Let’s say you’re working in a company and you have to lead a group.

So John couldn’t finish the project because he was too slow.

Instead of saying “you’re lazy” which attaches a label to that person

You say “I think your progress is a bit slow”.

By saying this you focus on the visible behavior

And do not make it a personal description.

Number 2 - Make it an observation

Instead of stating a conclusion, you state what you’ve observed.

This actually leaves room for discussion

And make it easier to accept.

Instead of saying “Your reports are late,”

Approach it by saying “I notice that your reports are late.”

This gets the point across

And paves the way for a healthy conversation.

Number 3 -Remember the point and be careful about the adjectives you use.

While they are very useful

You must know with great power comes great responsibility.

Adjectives like “horrible” “terrible” “disappointing”

Are really strong but they carry a lot of negativity.

So be really really wise choosing adjectives.

In our example

John said, “Your girlfriend is a slut And you are stupid.”

The point could be two things.

Number 1, John was a piece of garbage who wanted to annoy George.

And number 2

John wanted to say your girlfriend is not a right person for you and you have to be a little bit more careful.

Of course I’m pretty sure

It wasn’t the second one.

But let’s say it was.

So first of all he could talk to George somewhere else, alone.

Then he could say look man I noticed something about your girlfriend.

Okay?

The reason I’m saying this Is because I love you so much

Alright?

So with this build-up

You’re going to make it a little bit softer

And you can make your point.

And plus you’re not beating around the bush

To look more diplomatic.

With just a small sentence

You can easily convey your point.

Okay. That’s it.

Don’t be like John.

Please

Use your mouth wisely

You know why?

Because you are amazing.

You are a great gentleman.

You are a great lady.

Did you know that?

If yes

Drop me one of these in comment section

Like this post

And share this to your friends.

Because everyone must learn

How to be frank and awesome.

See ya.