I can't recognize myself anymore

Have you ever felt like

this is isn’t you?

You are doing it, but…

it’s just not like you.

Have you ever wondered,

what am I doing?

What is this?

Since when am I interested in this?

I like it,

it feels good, but…

wait,

it’s not even my cat.

Whose cat is this?

Have you ever thought

why on earth you’re friends with this person?

Why are they in your life?

Why don’t you just cut it?

Have you ever felt like you are enjoying

what you are eating

but you suddenly realize you just hate it?

You never liked it.

Never.

And this face,

I can’t recognize myself anymore.

I hate it.

Is this …

is this really me?

Every day, I feel this way.

Can’t wrap my mind around even

one logical reason

why I’m doing what I’m doing.

I do stuff in an enthusiastic way,

so passionately,

then wonder why?

This is not what I typically do!

This is not ….even my life.

Who is this?

This is not me!

But every night, I go to sleep,

thinking it’s fine.

Sooner or later,

it all is going to be over.

Hey

Are you watching this?

I’m trapped in this body and I can’t get out,

please, for God’s sake, help me,

it’s not my body!

please help me!

And every day that I wake up,

it seems like a new day.

It feels like a victory,

like I defeated something in me!

I made it

and now I have to be grateful.

Because I mean,

what else can I do about it?