وقتی سامسونگ راستشو میگه

Some companies innovate, some invent.

Some present cell phones that do not explode.

But here in Samsung,

we just copy.

We present a historic

and totally innovative feature in our new Galaxy.

Beginning a mass production of

a bitten apple sign on the back

of our new product.

“For what useful purpose” you may ask,

we do not know that either,

but we will soon figure that out.

Through all these years

we stepped into the market by this slogan

“your privacy does not matter to us”.

And fortunately,

this slogan is more tangible in our new Galaxy.

We do copy.

Yeah, I admit that

we did copy some features from iPhone

in our new product.

cameras from Nokia,

the screens from Huawei.

But

we also added some our own innovative

and impeccable features in our.

whom am I kidding,

we did copy everything.

like

Literally and figuratively everything.

Ah, oh my God, ya

After dozens of overheating and explosion

incidents in Samsung phones,

we’ve solved this problem in our new Galaxy.

Just imagine

that your phone

wait for it

is not only a phone

but also a bomb!

Huh?

Huh?

How cool is that?

your phone exploding on your hand

might not be a desirable incident

but just imagine,

you are being abducted

and

and you have this explosion feature

of your phone under the control.

I mean just enable it by only a fingerprint.

and then boom.

You are running away from the kidnapper.

How cool is that!

yeah?

And this is the new Galaxy!

This is the new Galaxy!

The new Galaxy is so good

that all the products of a whole year

have been pre-purchased.

Most of these purchases

have taken place in Middle East

by Al-Qaida and ISIS.

Our customers in the middle East

are completely satisfied with our new Galaxy S26

Surely we cannot have them on the report

since, well, they’re dead!

Which is an absolute sign of satisfaction

in the middle East.

Don’t worry,

our customers in the Middle East

love these features.

We can’t just cancel the features

because of some crybabies.

Well,

It’s true we don’t use our products ourselves.

but, umm

you should keep purchasing them!

Because, to be honest your purchase benefits us.

yeah

Go to heaven with Samsung.